Kal-El: Illegal immigrant

The guy on the right renouncing his American citizenship: Superman.

Some folks are going to be upset, saying comic books are influencing younger readers with anti-American messages (after all, we already know Batman hangs out with Muslims). But to those whose heads are about to explode over this development by the Man of Steel, I say this. Have you seen his birth certificate?

Did Jonathan and Martha Kent have adoption papers, or did they get a doctor to forge a “certificate of live birth,” knowing the kid would grow up to be the most powerful being in the universe? Did they plant a false birth notice in the Smallville Times or in the Metropolis Daily Planet about the new arrival. Were there any witnesses to his birth (No!). He could have been born in Kenya for all we know. Krypton? That’s an inert gas.

And though most people think the Kents are his parents, those in the know will tell you his parents weren’t Earthlings. More important, they weren’t even American. Hell, they gave him a name with a hyphen in it: Kal-El. What kind of name is that? Sounds Muslim to me.

Why hasn’t he released his long-form birth certificate? Why hasn’t he even shown us a short form birth certificate?

Because they don’t exist.

And since he’s been in America, how many jobs has he taken away from from superheroes who are legally in this country? I’ll bet that born in America president, Barack Obama, is about to deport him along with the other immigrants who are here illegally but have made major contributions to the betterment of life in the U.S.

This is a scandal on an intergalactic scale.

(Thanks to Slog on this one)

Songs for the folks in charge of everything

At the above point of the royal wedding, when everyone in the church was singing “God Save the Queen,”  I wondered what the Queen was thinking.

Here’s a song Queen Elizabeth II has never had to sing in her life. And she likely has heard it every time she goes out in public … for more than half a century.

People identify a piece of music and say, “This is our song.” But this really is her song. See, Elton John’s “Your Song” isn’t her song. The Beatles’ “Her Majesty” isn’t even her song.

It’s “God Save the Queen.” And she can’t sing it. What’s the point? Is she tempted to hum along? When there’s no one around and she’s feeling giddy in the palace does she belt out:

God, save the gracious me,
God, save the noble me,
Ain’t I just grand?

Or when she’s at a ceremony, you know, like a royal wedding, does she think: “God, do I have to listen to this damn song again?”

When she was a kid, she had to sing “God Save the King,” but it would be wrong for her to sing this in public. These lyrics should literally never pass her lips.

And there she is at her grandson’s wedding. Just standing there. Not uttering a word.

When the Sex Pistols hit it big, did any of the princelets or princesslettes ever try to piss her off by singing this?

You know, I could see Diana singing this when she got in one of her stick it to Charles moods.

And since I’m obsessing about this, what does Barack Obama think when he hears “Hail to the Chief“?

There was a movie years ago called “My Fellow Americans,” where James Garner and Jack Lemmon played former presidents on a road trip escaping from guys who were trying to kill them. Anyway, they start talking about the song and how much they hated it. And they made up their own words (since it has no words).

I wonder what Obama’s words are?

The Royal Wedding: Will and Kate Mountbatten

Yeah, I watched the whole thing.

Got up at 3 in the morning Eastern time, and was in front of a television and a computer monitor at 4 a.m., watching David and Posh Spice, Elton and Mr. John, PM Cameron and Spouse and a bunch of other high profile Brits that no one in America recognized.

It was interesting watching the route taken by the royal couple. I walked that route plenty of times in my expat days, a lifetime ago. It is a really nice walk. Especially when it’s not overwhelmed by exhibitionists in Union Jacks doing all they can to get their picture taken by international photographers eager to show the world how quaint they are in Britannia.

I watched the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton (now Catherine, Duchess of Cornwall) without commentary. Just paid attention to direct feeds and live streams. It was much more rewarding, because I know TV people were saying stupid TV people things.

Especially when the hats started appearing.

I overheard a ton of comments about Victoria Beckham’s hat. I heard tons of comments about everybody’s hat. But I thought the U.K. headwear was impressive.

Now we Americans have to strike back next week. Saturday, May 7, is Kentucky Derby Day, and anyone with any fashion sense knows that’s when American women hit hat-tackular heights. The Brits have laid down the challenge. It is our duty to respond.

I had a different point, though. Posh’s hat was … posh. But her shoes … did you get a look at those stilts?

How’s the weather up there, Posh? Should a pregnant woman really increase her chance of completely wiping out with shoes like that?

And since this is the only time I’m going to ever focus on fashion, I’ll make this final observation concerning the wedding dress.

Kate Middleton showed she had taste:

Her husband’s mother, on the other hand, showed she didn’t.

NOTE: Alright, what’s up with the headline? These are names they’re never going to use, but would be their real names if they were commoners. When William was born, the palace said that the future king of England would always be referred to as William. Not Will. Not Bill. Not Willie. Kate is now going to be referred to as Catherine. Not like a certain actress named Blanchett. Not like a TV show whose title ended “… and Allie.” And Mountbatten is the adopted name of William’s grandfather, the husband of Queen Elizabeth. So Phil Mountbatten and Liz Windsor had a son named Chuck Mountbatten. Chuck married Di Spencer, so their first kid was Will Mountbatten.

Well, at least we have Harry.

The Deathly Hallows, Part 2

Wow! Well, I know where I’m going to be July 15.

The last word on birthers

Where were the Republican Donald Trump and his Tea Party lemmings back in 2008 when this was an issue?

In the most detailed examination yet of Senator John McCain’s eligibility to be president, a law professor at the University of Arizona has concluded that neither Mr. McCain’s birth in 1936 in the Panama Canal Zone nor the fact that his parents were American citizens is enough to satisfy the constitutional requirement that the president must be a “natural-born citizen.”

(Inspired by Atrios)

Enough, already! Here’s Obama’s birth certificate

President Obama released his birth certificate today:

long-form-of-president-obamas-birth-certificate

Now you’d think that would put an end to the Tea Bagger nonsense about Obama not being born in the U.S.

But no!

Orly Taitz, a prominent Obama critic who has questioned his birthplace, told Talking Points Memo that she thinks the newly released document is questionable because Obama’s father’s race is listed as “African.”

“It sounds like it would be written today, in the age of political correctness, and not in 1961, when they wrote white or Asian or ‘Negro,’” Taitz said.

Perhaps she’s just angry because the state of Hawaii didn’t use a certain other N-word that was pretty common in the days when things weren’t “Politically correct“? But we all know Tea Baggers aren’t racists. They tell us that all the time:

Oh, Grady. So close, and yet …

Look. Obama should have never released this, because these morons won’t believe anything he says. They’re not going to vote for him. They’re going to create some new conspiracy theory to keep us distracted for another two years. They’re going to keep ranting  like it’s the night of a full moon at an insane asylum.

You can call Donald Trump a serial adulterer, publicity hound, egomaniac, (really, you CAN) but bottom line is he has the Tea Baggers’ number, and he’s going to keep playing these suckers like a violin, polling high among Republicans and building up ratings for this season’s “The Apprentice.” He gave a rambling press conference today patting himself on the back for forcing Obama to concede to this lunacy. And he know that if he comes up with something more absurd (Was Obama really qualified to go to an Ivy League school?), these pea brains will drool like a Pavlovian dog at a bell factory.

Krugman, up close

Paul Krugman, Laureate of the Sveriges Riksban...

Image via Wikipedia

New York magazine has a pretty good profile on Paul Krugman, the Nobel Prize winning economist and columnist for the New York Times.

A lot of Krugman haters are conservatives who bristled when he constantly tore the Bush administration apart. But he also does a pretty good job of sticking it to Obama. In both cases, both presidents deserved everything Krugman said.

And Krugman has a great blog. It’s worth checking out every day.