This is your life, in a chart

If you are an average American, this is how your life is broken down into little boxes (of course, you can click to enlarge):

2014-07-22-4WeeksblockLIFE1The sad part is I’m more than halfway through it and not so slowly moving from red to blue. How did that happen?

I’m reminded of a Tom Lehrer line: When Mozart was my age, he had been dead for 24 years.

“Who’s Tom Lehrer?” you ask. Yes, this is a true sign of age, because not only do millennials not know who he is, A lot of baby boomers are in the dark. Here you go:

I think he’s one of the great songwriters of the 20th century. If you get a chance, check out “Werhner von Braun” and “The Vatican Rag.”

Here’s what surprises me. Tom Lehrer is still alive! He’s 86 and living in New York CIty (where else?!). Of course, that means he’s running out of chart space.

I’ve got to get to Stockholm

Just to ride the subway:

I’ve been on Metros in New York, Washington, Boston, Atlanta, Chicago, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, St. Louis, Montreal, London, Paris, Brussels, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Rome, Hong Kong and places I don’t even remember, and I’ve never seen anything as cool as this.

I’m ready to book a flight.

Let’s spoil some movies

Not really. If you’re a movie fan, you’ve already seen these. If you’re not, they’re so old, you weren’t going to see them anyway.

But the one spoiler that pissed me off years ago was when a New York Times film writer gave away the ending of “Thelma and Louise” several months after the movie opened with a glib line that started something like … “By now, everyone knows that Thelma and Louise …”

I was going to see “Thelma and Louise” that afternoon at a second-run theater that was a lot cheaper than the first run places. I’ve avoided Times reviews ever since.

I haven’t read ‘Archie’ in decades but …

What the hell!!!

Archie

Archie dies??!!! (Via Mashable):

Archie Andrews will die taking a bullet for his gay best friend.

The famous freckle-faced comic book icon is meeting his demise in Wednesday’s installment of “Life with Archie” when he intervenes in an assassination attempt on Kevin Keller, Archie Comics’ first openly gay character. Andrews’ death, which was first announced in April, will mark the conclusion of the series that focuses on grown-up renditions of Andrews and his Riverdale pals.

Wait a minute, there are gay characters in “Archie.”

This is not the Archie I remember going up with. And he dies!!!