A few charts to help you through the Oscars tonight

For those of you who enjoy looking at the past, here’s an infographic that shows the films with the most nominations and the most wins (click throughout to enlarge):

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For you fashion mavens, here’s an updated chart of all the gowns worn by the best actress winners (check out Joanne Woodward and Julie Christie for the best acting seamstress award):

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And finally, if you’re in an Oscar pool and have to wager on the winner in all of the categories except best actress and best supporting actress, put your money on the middle-age white guy:

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And the winner is …

Like a president never wore a tan suit before

All right, I’ve had it, again. As I’ve said before, what is wrong with these people?

For some reason last week, this …

03a06154e00743cc9e113c51e8273a5f-2674d21eb06a42c5aab1e2ffb3c17984-2drove people into a frenzy:

“There’s no way any of us can excuse what the president did yesterday,” King said on NewsMaxTV on Friday. The interview was flagged by Buzzfeed. “When you have the world watching … a week, two weeks of anticipation of what the United States is gonna do. For him to walk out —I’m not trying to be trivial here— in a light suit, light tan suit, saying that first he wants to talk about what most Americans care about the revision of second quarter numbers on the economy. This is a week after Jim Foley was beheaded and he’s trying to act like real Americans care about the economy, not about ISIS and not about terrorism. And then he goes on to say he has no strategy.”

OK, Peter King is a nut, but what’s everyone else’s excuse?

While Washingtonian magazine Fashion Editor Kate Bennett gives the president props for “[stepping] out of the mold” and nixing a traditional blue or black suit, she says he instead “opted for a color” more associated with laid-back occasions than addressing the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS) or the situation in Ukraine.

“Personally, I think a tan suit is a little too casual for a press conference or a formal statement from the White House, but that’s just me,” Bennett says.

Are you serious? He’s at a press conference, not a funeral. But maybe I can see the point, since no other president has worn a tan suit in public.

628x471Uh, but no Republican would wear a tan suit at a news conference:

628x471-2Uh, but the patron saint of the GOP wouldn’t disgrace the Oval Office by wearing one:

C3657-13Hell, Jimmy Carter wore a tan sweater for a major speech:

BwJ212IIMAMvpKoLook, presidents have been wearing tan suits forever.

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In some of the most iconic images in American history:

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And in situations that determined the fate of the free world:

article-0-0209D9160000044D-113_468x367So SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP about Obama wearing a tan suit. Republicans aren’t mad because he wore one. They’re mad because he looked so good in it!

And a doll shall lead them

This is a human:

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This is a plastic doll:

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The human, a Ukrainian woman named Valeria Lukyanova, has surgically altered herself to look like a doll. Weird, right?

No. This is the weird part (from GQ):

Valeria grows pensive, which in her case means rolling her eyes slightly upward without changing anything else about her face. “I wouldn’t say so. Everyone wants a slim figure. Everyone gets breasts done. Everyone fixes up their face if it’s not ideal, you know? Everyone strives for the golden mean. It’s global now.”

“But that’s a relatively new thing,” I reply. “The ideal of beauty used to be different.”

“That’s because of the race-mixing.”

If I had a glass of multi-chutney carrot-juice mix before me, I’d do a bright orange spit take.

“For example, a Russian marries an Armenian,” Valeria elaborates helpfully. “They have a kid, a cute girl, but she has her dad’s nose. She goes and files it down a little, and it’s all good. Ethnicities are mixing now, so there’s degeneration, and it didn’t used to be like that. Remember how many beautiful women there were in the 1950s and 1960s, without any surgery? And now, thanks to degeneration, we have this. I love the Nordic image myself. I have white skin; I am a Nordic type—perhaps a little Eastern Baltic, but closer to Nordic.”

I feel like checking my watch. We’ve gone from nails to eugenics in about two minutes flat.

I realize that just like everyone reading about Human Barbie, I had had a simple narrative prepared in my head: A small-town girl grows up obsessed with dolls, etc. Instead, I get a racist space alien.

Just let that sink in. The human is real. But the doll has better values.

Here’s a video of the human:

And here’s a video of the doll:

Is it time to give up on humanity?

Stupid is as stupid does: Wear your tutu to work

The GOP in the West is keeping up with the party’s efforts to broaden its base and offer an open tent by offending everyone in sight (from the Spokesman-Review):

Idaho Republican Party leaders are calling on the state Legislature to invalidate local city ordinances that ban discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation — like the one Coeur d’Alene passed after an emotional community debate just two weeks ago.

Six Idaho cities have passed such non-discrimination ordinances in the past year and a half, and a seventh, Idaho Falls, is looking into one now; the Idaho GOP wants them halted. …

Cornel Rasor, a former Bonner County commissioner and chairman of the Idaho GOP’s resolutions committee, said, “I’d hire a gay guy if I thought he was a good worker. But if he comes into work in a tutu … he’s not producing what I want in my office.”

I’ve been working and hiring for a lot of years. So far, no one — straight or gay, male or female — has shown up for work in a tutu. People in Idaho must be kinkier than I thought if it’s happening there.

So how should we react?
idaho

Let the skewering begin!