The only thing I got out of the Republican debate

Who cares about the ridiculous answers the GOP candidates gave in Tuesday night’s debate. What I want to know is how do all of them think wearing red, white and blue is going to make them appear to be more presidential?

hcbpyix5r5w2gkpp0ooo

Jesus, people! Just get 50 white stars and sew them up and down your outfits. Then sway back and forth so your supporters can confuse you with the American flag.

The anatomy of a makeover movie

The makeover movie is much more enjoyable than the extreme makeovers on daily daytime television. At least you care about the people being made over in the course of the film.

By the way, the makeover of Hermoine in “The Goblet of Fire” was very well done, since you’d seen her for three previous movies. That was when I realized she wanted Ron, not Harry.

(Via Vox)

High heel horrors

heels720

I don’t understand high heels, but I’m a guy. It just looks like the wearer is always going to fall forward. If there’s an emergency, you can’t run in them. A co-worker once told me she liked the way her legs looked. But if you have good looking legs, you can go barefoot and no one would be disappointed.

But maybe I’m just overstating this?

Your killer heels are killing much more than you think. One in 10 women wear high heels at least three days a week and a third have fallen while wearing them. Statistics show that high heels are one of the biggest factors leading to foot problems in women, with up to a third suffering permanent problems as a result of prolonged wear. …

The increased weight on your toes causes your body to tilt forward, and to compensate, you lean backwards and overarch your back, creating a posture that can strain your knees, hips, and lower back.  …

Over time, wearing high heels can shorten the muscles in your calves and in your back, leading to pain and muscle spasms. … many women who wear high heels often suffer a shortening of the Achilles tendon because once the heel is pointed upwards, it tightens up. Stretching it again or switching to flats can be very painful; it can even lead to plantar fasciitis.

So that’s the bad side of it. Remember that chart a while back about where the heels are the highest in the U.S.?tumblr_ne8anqJJ471qgexq2o1_r2_1280

 

Seems like there’s a lot of pain in Puerto Rico.

 

And they’re off …

About 170,000 friends and I were at this year’s Kentucky Derby. Here’s our view from the first turn of the big race:

IMG_0737-1

Let’s just say my horse wasn’t the one that won. Though I did win the previous race, I left the track with less money than I walked in with. My son, on the other hand, made more than he betted. My guidance as a parent leaves much to be desired.

Which brings me to my next point:

hqdefault

It’s been 45 years since Dr. Hunter S. Thompson Esq. penned these immortal words, and although Churchill Downs is far more diverse and affluent than it was in 1970, the mood remains the same. Very tanned and very drunk people, each mellowed by at least a half dozen Mint Juleps, are gathered in a glorious scrum of gambling and elaborate hats. … and not just on the women:

IMG_0727

I was with a group from out of town, who went through the wrong entrance of the Downs, finding themselves in the middle of the infield, a general admission haven of bloated besuited frat boys and short-skirted soro sisters whose first order of the day was to get as ingloriously inebriated as humanly possible to the point where you couldn’t tell which member of an embracing duo was holding the other up. A Douchebag Bonnaroo, if you will. Fortunately, the visitors made their way to our box seats, where we enjoyed a higher class of bourbon, broads and betting.

The lines were Soviet-era Moscow long at the hundreds of gambling booths. Even though it was, at times, an hour between races, people committed the most unforgivable of racetrack sins. I suffered from hordes of people delaying the line for the ninth race by scanning their smartphones and making wagers for their unattending friends for the 11th race. The howls from the back of “Make your bet, already!” never phased them. Even worse, I stood behind a sauced middle-aged couple who had been throwing dollars at the gods of gambling all day and knew that some of their betting slips contained winners, but they didn’t remember which ones, so they handed a stack of paper (I’m guessing at least 30 different bets) to the guy in the booth who proceeded to run each one through the scanner to figure out which ones had the payouts. End result, $151 in winnings. Oh, and I didn’t get to bet on that race. But the time I got to the booth, I had to figure out who I would bet on in the subsequent race, only to find that one of my horses, the favorite, was scratched.

Right now, it’s 4 in the morning and I’m ready to crash. So, after all that, would I attend a Derby again?

Hell, yeah! Where else are you going to enjoy a fashion show like this?

IMG_0721

A few charts to help you through the Oscars tonight

For those of you who enjoy looking at the past, here’s an infographic that shows the films with the most nominations and the most wins (click throughout to enlarge):

tumblr_nk2tzyPh1G1s3dn7vo1_1280

For you fashion mavens, here’s an updated chart of all the gowns worn by the best actress winners (check out Joanne Woodward and Julie Christie for the best acting seamstress award):

Oscar-Dresses-2014-Amended-2

And finally, if you’re in an Oscar pool and have to wager on the winner in all of the categories except best actress and best supporting actress, put your money on the middle-age white guy:

20150220_Oscars_Fo

And the winner is …