Enough with Deflategate

This New England Patriots scandal is irrelevant:

It’s that shiny object that shows up to distract us from things that matter. And in the whole cosmic scheme of things, everything matters more than this does.

OK, so the Patriots deflated their balls and it’s illegal.

So why does the NFL let teams supply their own balls? If it’s such a big deal, shouldn’t the league be in charge of the balls?

OK, so the Patriots have cheated in the past.

So why did the NFL punishment for those incidents have all the impact of a mosquito biting a sperm whale? The Pats still make the playoffs and still end up in the Super Bowl.

OK, so the cheating in a playoff game allowed them to get into the most recent Super Bowl.

So if that’s the case, strip the Patriots of their Super Bowl title. If the NFL isn’t going to do that, shut up already! As far as the league is concerned, it pays to be a cheat (and a wife beater, and a.

And Deflategate is a stupid name. The -gate suffix is now a cliche. Call it something daring, like “Ballbusting.”


At least the New York tabloids know what to call it.

A Viking garage sale

This is amazingly weird in a heartwarming kind of way:

That happened last year, and Bud just announced he’s holding another garage sale in a couple of weeks.

If you know football, you know that Bud Grant holding a garage sale in Minnesota is like the late Tom Landry having a barbecue on his back porch in Dallas 20 years ago or the late Vince Lombardi holding an open house in Green Bay in the 1960s and inviting everyone in the state to drop on by if they feel like it. Fans stop by the house of one of the legends of football, get some memorabilia (or furniture, or power tools) and grab an autograph. A lot better than going to a trade show, standing in a slow-moving line and paying 50 bucks for a quick scribble.

And Bud gets rid of all the junk in his house at a nice profit. Everybody’s happy.

If you don’t know who Bud Grant is, here’s a little note from the Pro Football Hall of Fame:

In Bud Grant‘s 18 years as head coach of the Minnesota Vikings from1967 through 1983 and a one-year final stint in 1985, his teams compiled a .620 winning percentage (158-96-5) in regular-season play. His 168 coaching triumphs, counting 10 post-season wins, place him among the all-time greatest coaches.

At the time of his retirement, only George Halas, Don Shula, Tom Landry, Curly Lambeau, Chuck Noll, Chuck Knox and Paul Brown had engineered more wins in pro football play.

As you can see, this is a huge frickin’ deal.

Marshawn Lynch and Rob Gronkowski Play ‘Mortal Kombat X’

Marshawn Lynch and Rob Gronkowski are in the Super Bowl on Sunday, but managed to have some videogame fun. Some pretty vulgar language here.

Lynch doesn’t like to speak at press conferences. Based on this meeting with Conan O’Brien, I sort of realize he doesn’t want to say anything at press conferences because if he does, he’ll get in trouble. However, I do like how he walks out in disgust after the disembowlment.

Also I will never play this game because of the result of the women’s battle.

Deflategate: An analysis by Shaq

So, Shaquille O’Neal and the folks over at the NBA on TNT wondered what would happen if there was an advantage to using a deflated basketball for free throws, given that the New England Patriots were do successful using deflated footballs:

So as Shaq proves, it doesn’t matter if a ball is deflated, he can’t hit free throws anyway.

I figure there’s cheating in all professional sports, but either New England does it more, or it’s worse at hiding its cheating. I tried to think back to the Patriots cheat I first remembered. It had to be this:

The 1982 Snow Plow game against the Miami Dolphins. Long before Belichick and Brady. If you go over to NFL.com (click this link) you’ll see that Don Shula is still pissed off about that one.

Meanwhile the Oakland Raiders are piss off over this:

Ah, yes! The “Tuck Rule.”

But honestly, wasn’t Eric Allen cheating by hanging out on the sideline and listening to the play call?