Let’s spoil some movies

Not really. If you’re a movie fan, you’ve already seen these. If you’re not, they’re so old, you weren’t going to see them anyway.

But the one spoiler that pissed me off years ago was when a New York Times film writer gave away the ending of “Thelma and Louise” several months after the movie opened with a glib line that started something like … “By now, everyone knows that Thelma and Louise …”

I was going to see “Thelma and Louise” that afternoon at a second-run theater that was a lot cheaper than the first run places. I’ve avoided Times reviews ever since.

Is Batman suing Superman?

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I’m confused. What does “Batman Five Superman” mean? (via USA Today).

The director can’t say exactly how the relationship between the two superheroes evolves, “but suffice it to say there is a ‘v’ in between their names” in the movie title, Snyder says. He explains that having the “v” instead of “vs.” is a way “to keep it from being a straight ‘versus’ movie, even in the most subtle way.”

Oh. OK. It’s not a roman numeral. it’s a versus abbreviation.

I’m more confused. You use “v” instead of “vs” when you’re using versus in a legal case (i.e.: Roe v. Wade). Why is Batman taking Superman to the Supreme Court? Why do the filmmakers thing I’d want to see two hours of super litigation?

How to make a Michael Bay movie

I was in the mood for a loud mindless roller coaster of a movie filled with explosions, so I went to see “Transformers 4,” because Michael Bay delivers. You don’t expect a storyline that makes sense. You just know things are going to keep moving for three hours.

But the explanation above shows why this is appealing.

For a movie viewer who hates Michael Bay films, I think I’ve seen everything he does. …

Including “Pearl Harbor,” which had the absurd scene of a soldier going to Grand Central Station in New York to get on a train to go fight the war in Europe. Yes, it made no sense, and that was the point where you’re supposed to leave your seat and say, “No. I’m not stupid.”

But, you know, loud mindless roller coaster with explosions.