Your Republican frontrunners for the presidential nomination

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CPAC met a few miles south of me this past week, and the conservatives decided who they preferred as their presidential candidate. Honestly, I see at most two viable candidates, and neither one is anywhere near the lead.

Cue the circus music:

Yes, I’m being too harsh:

Phil Robertson, the man infamous for his role on the A&E reality series “Duck Dynasty” and for his controversial comments on gay sex, gave a speech on Friday at the Conservative Political Action Conference that was long, bizarre, and at times even a little incoherent.

As Robertson was introduced at CPAC, it was noted that he was the recipient of the 2015 Andrew Breitbart Defender of the First Amendment Award. He then used his First Amendment freedom to speak for nearly half an hour, touching on off-brand topics like sexually transmitted diseases, Nazis, communism, and Jesus.

Strike that, I’m not being harsh enough. The strange thing isn’t what he said. It’s that he got an award as a defender of free speech.

Today in Republican rape logic

Two things: First from the West Virginia House (via Jezebel):

The West Virginia House has begun the process of approving a bill that would ban abortions after 20 weeks in the state; Like other version of the same bill, West Virginia’s proposed law has been dubbed the Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act. It’s based on the bunk science that fetuses are capable of feeling pain after 20 weeks, and that pain should trump the desire someone might feel to not carry an unwanted pregnancy to term.

The body’s health committee passed the bill Thursday. But first, as the Charleston Gazette reported, in comments that were picked up by both Huffington Post and Think Progress, Delegate Brian Kurcaba said he couldn’t quite see why there should be an exception in the bill for victims of rape or incest.

“Obviously rape is awful,” Kurcaba said. “What is beautiful is the child that could come from this.”

And now, from the Utah House of Representatives (from the Salt Lake Tribune):

If someone can’t consent, it’s rape.

A Utah measure seeking to make that legal clarification won early approval in a state legislative committee Tuesday, but some lawmakers qualified their support, questioning whether the law would designate sex with an unconscious spouse as rape.

“If an individual has sex with their wife while she is unconscious … a prosecutor could then charge that spouse with rape, theoretically,” said Rep. Brian Greene, R-Pleasant Grove.”That makes sense in a first date scenario, but to me, not where people have a history of years of sexual activity.”

Your GOP in action. Sticking their noses in your lady parts. If you’re unconscious.

For those of you who say we need a ‘third party’ in politics

Folks, when you look at your ballots on Election Day, you see we have third parties, fourth parties, fifth parties and sixth parties, and NO ONE VOTES FOR THEM.

Here are the candidates for the 2012 Presidential election:

Presidential ticket Party Ballot access[81]  % of voters seeing name on ballot Votes
Obama / Biden Democratic 50 + DC 100% 65,915,796
Romney / Ryan Republican 50 + DC 100% 60,933,500
Johnson / Gray Libertarian 48 + DC 95.1% 1,275,951
Stein / Honkala Green 36 + DC 83.1% 469,628
Goode / Clymer Constitution 26 49.9% 122,388
Anderson / Rodriguez Justice 15 28.1% 43,018
Lindsay / Osorio Socialism & Liberation 13 28.6% 7,791

That’s five parties once you got past Democrat and Republican, and look at the vote difference. And those are just the “third parties” that appeared on the most ballots nationwide. Roseanne Barr was on the ballot in 2012. Didn’t know that did you?

Fourteen people represented different political parties as presidential candidates in 2012. So there were plenty of third parties, and no one paid attention.

So, focus people! There are only two parties to choose from. If you don’t like what they represent, shape them the way you think they should be.

In the wake of Charlie Hebdo

TMW2015-01-14colorOK, so how will the psychopaths on the right turn this into an anti-Obama screed?

Several leading Republicans criticized the Obama administration for not having a more prominent presence at the rally.

“The absence is symbolic of the lack of American leadership on the world stage, and it is dangerous. The attack on Paris, just like previous assaults on Israel and other allies, is an attack on our shared values,” Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) wrote in a Time op-ed.

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) said on “CBS This Morning” that it was a “mistake” not to send a higher-ranking U.S. official to the Paris rally.

“I understand that when the president travels, he brings with him a security and communications package which is intense. And I understand you drop that into the middle of something like this, it could be disruptive,” Rubio said. “There’s a plethora of people they could have sent. I think in hindsight I hope that they would have done it differently.”

Yeah, because we all know how much the right wing loves to support everything about France. This past summer, I was at a national monument where I heard a true American tell his kids to eat their “Freedom Fries.” (I’m really not kidding.)

I’m sure the French are upset that Obama didn’t join the rally:

During the rally, most French hardly seemed to notice the absence of a prominent U.S. representative. And many had felt ambivalent about the presence of global leaders in the first place, given the dubious human rights records of some who attended and the desire of participants to make the march about the unity of the French people, rather than about politics.

“I consider these heads of state to be taking part in my march,” said Thierry, a 56-year-old painter, who declined to give his last name because of fears of terrorism. “I’m not taking part in theirs.”