A football coach tries to coach football

For those of you who haven’t been across the pond, the Tottenham Hotspurs are a real football (soccer) team. I know, when I was in England and first heard the name, I thought it was a joke.

Tottenham was about an hour from where we lived. Sadly, the only football match we saw was when the San Diego Chargers met the New Orleans Saints at Wembley Stadium in London in 2008.

Yeah, I know. Wrong football.

Football vs. football: What do people really want to watch?

Every year, the Super Bowl comes around and the mavens in the sports media tell us that it’s the biggest sporting event in the world.

Then every four years, the World Cup comes around and mavens in the sports media tell us that it’s the biggest sporting event in the world.

So which one is it? (Via Beutlerink):

World-Cup-viewersBut (the NFL fans whine) you’re comparing something that happens every four years to something that happens every year.

Really, are you going to make me do the math?

Multiply the Super Bowl number by four, and you’re still short by the entire population of North America, where the only people who care about the Super Bowl live.  And when you think about it, lots of people in the world don’t have televisions. So the World Cup is a community event where villages gather in front of a lone TV to see what’s going on.

And unlike the Super Bowl, they’re not tuning in just to watch the commercials.

I was in Belgium during the 2006 World Cup, and the city put a huge monitor in the middle of the street near the Bourse (the stock exchange building) downtown and closed off the area to automobile traffic. We roamed the streets with an Italian flag and joined all the Italians after Italy beat France in the final. That year in Paris, they put a big screen on the Eiffel Tower which allowed everyone to see Zidane’s headbutt heard around the world.

In 2010, we were in a restaurant/pub in London watching Spain beat the Netherlands in the final, although the highlight of that tournament was when the U.S. tied England because goalie Robert Green let this get by him. We were watching that match with a bunch of Brits who were ragging us on how badly American asses were going to be kicked. Let’s just say, the Americans were the ones gloating at the end.

Check out this photo gallery at the Washington Post to see how people are watching the World Cup around the globe. This is not how we watch the Super Bow.

Walking where you shouldn’t walk

Why do people go to sporting events and start walking where they shouldn’t be walking?

Like this guy in New Zealand who decided to get naked and go on the field during a rugby match.

dk9n8fjez5g0kxp4nex7You know if you’re there during a game, you’re going to get hit, right?

Or let’s say you’re a woman whose just watched hockey’s Stanley Cup, and you’re wearing very high heels, where is the last place you want to be?

767651774763800718Or let’s say you’re a bull and don’t have tickets, but decide to walk down the streets of Baltimore (huh?):

I mean, how do you think that’s going to end? (via CBS Baltimore)

“The cow stopped in the road, looked into the cop car. The cop drew his gun, and he fired three or four shots at the cow,” said Furniere.

That did it.

“It started limping and it collapsed on its side. It was really sad,” Eidelman said.

Of the three, at least the bull made sense. It has escaped from a slaughterhouse. What else are you going to do but run?

Yoenis Cespedes has a cannon for an arm: Day 2

You saw the previous post where Yoenis Cespedes of the Oakland A’s throws out a California Angel after botching a play in the outfield.

He did it again the next day:

Here’s the odd thing. If he makes a clean play, the runners would have been in excellent scoring position. But he muffs plays he should easily make twice. The runners go, and he nails them with amazing throws.

The World Cup is depraved and decadent

Or more specifically, its governing body, FIFA, is, according to John Oliver:

That is impressive. Make a country change its laws against drinking. Create your own court that can send people away to jail for 15 years. Put an outdoor game in a country where the temperature is 122 degrees.

Can you imagine an American sports organization pulling something like that?

New details have emerged about the deal bringing the Super Bowl to Minneapolis.

Some of the conditions include: hotel accommodations, free police escorts and free advertising. They’re on the long list of requests in a confidential 153-page document obtained by the Star Tribune.

The National Football League made the specifications before it named Minneapolis the host city for the 2018 Super Bowl. Dated November 2013, the document details everything from field preps, to reserving bowling venues for the Super Bowl Celebrity Bowling Classic.

Nice try NFL. You’re in the Pee Wee League compared to FIFA’s professional corruption status.

What the hail? A weather delay in Brussels.

You know, when the weather guy says there was hail the size of golf balls, I used to think it would be cool to see that. I’ve seen hail before, but it’s usually the size of BBs.

But there was a football (soccer) match in Brussels today at King Baudoin Stadium (which, as all of you Bruxellois out there know is near the Atomium and Bruparck) between Belgium and Tunisia, and this happened.

There you are. Hail the size of golf balls, and, according to photos, a few chunks the size of tennis balls. Any ideas what the broadcaster is saying. It isn’t French (which I understand) or Dutch or German (which I don’t), and those are the three official languages of Belgium. (Actually, it’s Portuguese.)

Now, for an attitude adjustment. I’ve decided it would not be cool to see that. And it would be horrific to be in it. But if you want a similar experience, go to a crowded golf driving range and stand in the middle of the open field as dozens of golfers all swing full force and take shots at you.

And note that is you were to do than, it would be less dangerous than what happened in Brussels. When the sky dumps chunks of ice on you, there’s no way you can avoid them in the open,

(Oh, the match was suspended until the storm ended. Belgium ended up winning 1-0.)

 

Racist Donald Sterling’s life is beautiful

Back when the Donald Sterling “I don’t want my mistress to be seen with black guys” scandal broke, I wrote that the guy may be a scumbag, but he’s never going to be punished. Here’s what I said:

So current estimates are that the Clippers will sell for more than $1 billion. And that money goes to …

Donald Sterling.

He owns the team. He gets the paycheck.

I’m sure he’s in agony right now because the NBA won’t let him be involved in a sport that features a race of people he doesn’t want to associate with.

Well, I’m here to admit I was wrong. Because, as you’ve all seen, this happened:

Former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer will buy the Los Angeles Clippers for $2 billion, and Donald Sterling reportedly won’t stop the sale with a lawsuit against the NBA.

Bobby Samini, one of Sterling’s lawyers, told NBC4 that the soon-to-be former owner wouldn’t pursue legal action against the league as he had previously threatened, instead accepting the sale (and money that comes along with it).

Yesterday, Sterling said that he was ready to move on from the struggle:

“I feel fabulous, I feel very good. Everything is just the way it should be, really. It may have worked out differently, but it’s good. It’s all good,” Sterling said.

Breathe a sigh of relief, everyone. Sterling feels good.

See, my mistake was I underestimated how much he was going to pocket … by ONE BILLION DOLLARS!!!

Yes, Donald Sterling can move on from the scorn the world has heaped upon him … with an added $2 billion in his pocket.

Tell me, what’s the point of having contempt for a person when even in his worst moment life is beautiful?