Homophones: There awl gaze

I’m sorry, but at a certain point, the stupidity is just too much to absorb (from the Salt Lake City Tribune):

Homophones, as any English grammarian can tell you, are words that sound the same but have different meanings and often different spellings — such as be and bee, through and threw, which and witch, their and there.

This concept is taught early on to foreign students learning English because it can be confusing to someone whose native language does not have that feature.

But when the social-media specialist for a private Provo-based English language learning center wrote a blog explaining homophones, he was let go for creating the perception that the school promoted a gay agenda.

Tim Torkildson says after he wrote the blog on the website of his employer, Nomen Global Language Center, his boss and Nomen owner Clarke Woodger, called him into his office and told him he was fired.

As Torkildson tells it, Woodger said he could not trust him and that the blog about homophones was the last straw.

“Now our school is going to be associated with homosexuality,” Woodger complained, according to Torkildson, who posted the exchange on his Facebook page.

Ewe sea, dam homophones Kant bee taut ore scene. Weir sic of they’re bazaar caul fore aural sects. Their knot strait, sew there fowl. Eye four won saver thee passed.

Butt watt dew ewe wont too ad, Bugs Bunny?

The GOP rebranding strategy for 2016

It’s 2014, which means we’re gearing up for the 2016 presidential election. (Yeah, we have the midterm congressional elections coming up, but now is when the messaging for 2016 actually begins.

So which Republicans are among the likely presidential contenders, and what are they doing?

From the Washington Post:

Since giving up on cowboy boots (the arched heels agitated his back) and wearing hipster glasses, [Rick] Perry has a look more bookish than buckaroo — and more in keeping with his attempt at intellectual reinvention.

What was it that Rick Perry did that made him look dumb, anyway?

Yeah, glasses. That’ll fix everything. Because we all know that people who wear glasses are smart. Here’s what the site Eye Candy Optical says:

Scientific research has shown that we do perceive people who wear glasses as more intelligent when compared to those who do not wear glasses (As an aside, we also view people who wear glasses as more competent, and more industrious according to a recent article in Psychology News and Reviews).  Count me in!

Although perception is not a reality, you may give yourself a leg up just by putting on a proper pair of specs.  Let’s face it….it couldn’t hurt! In today’s competitive world anything that gives us a little extra boost (real or perceived) is worth a try.

Rick PerryNow there’s a smart looking man!

And since looking intelligent is part of the strategy for potential Republican presidential candidates, what other ways will they present themselves to the American voter?

Again from the Washington Post:

The last time Republicans began running for president, there was a race to be the most confrontational, the most unbending. Mitt Romney said he was “severely conservative” and got caught mocking the “47 percent.” Rick Perry called the Federal Reserve “treasonous.” Rick Santorum said he was “for income inequality.”

What a difference a disastrous election, two years and terrible polling make. If 2012 was a contest to be the toughest, the 2016 presidential Republican primary is likely to include a competition to appear the most compassionate.

The rebranding effort is taking center stage this week with pleas for more compassion from four potential GOP presidential candidates: Sens. Marco Rubio (Fla.) and Rand Paul (Ky.), House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan (Wis.) and former Florida governor Jeb Bush. The Republicans are working to redefine the GOP as kinder, more connected to the daily economic anxieties of poor Americans — and better able to win national elections.

Remember the last compassionate conservative?

But how do you look compassionate?

image11406142490That’s Paul Ryan on the right at a heroin clinic, looking compassionate. The GOP message had been, “You use heroin, you go to jail.” Now, let’s pull a gem from the past, quoting George Bush (the smarter): “Message: I care.”

We are not dealing in substance anymore. This is all about illusion. Nobody is going to read these guys speeches or cross reference their statements in newspaper articles. This is the first step in the Fox News election strategy.

We know what the message will be, and how they’re going to present it. So what can we do?

Beliefs (via XKCD)

beliefs

Just when you think it can’t get worse:

[Rep. Michele Bachmann] and 2012 Republican presidential candidate told RealClearPolitics on Tuesday that she is considering a second White House run.

Bachmann made the revelation during an interview, in which she was asked for her view on whether any Republican women might seek the Oval Office in 2016.

“The only thing that the media has speculated on is that it’s going to be various men that are running,” she replied. “They haven’t speculated, for instance, that I’m going to run. What if I decide to run? And there’s a chance I could run.”

It’s worse.

Like a girl …

After the Supreme Court ruling on whether women can control their bodies (the five old Catholic guys on the court say no), it’s time to think about the perception of women as weaklings who need a man to tell them what to do.

Which means it’s time to really reassess what people think when someone says, “You do that like a girl.”

 

Will Republicans play nice when Obama leaves office?

Uh, no:

UPDATE: Ark. GOP official resigns after controversial comments about Hillary Clinton.

A state Republican Party official resigned Wednesday after comments he reportedly made about Hillary Clinton.

According to a U.S. News & World Report blog, 2nd Congressional District Chairman Johnny Rhoda was asked by reporters how Clinton would fare in Arkansas if she were to run for president in 2016.

His reported reply: “She’d probably get shot at the state line.”

And now that he’s resigned, is he apologizing?

Rhoda, a church pastor and insurance agent, said later that he didn’t mean the remark in a threatening way and that it had been quoted “out of context” and “blown out of proportion.”

Those church pastors in Red States and guns. A real fun group. And this is coming from a guy in a state where Hillary was first lady back when Bill was governor. And we all remember the nice things Republicans said about Bill when he was president.

Look, we know Hillary isn’t running … YET … but these guys are going to be dicks no matter what Democrat is in the White House.

Can a Democrat win the Mississippi U.S. Senate race?

Political junkies are in a frenzy today because Mississippi Republican Thad Cochran won his Republican primary race Tuesday in a close race against a Tea Party firebrand.

That, to the rest of America, neither comes as a surprise nor, in reality, generates any interest anywhere. Americans aren’t at the edge of their seats wondering who would be the Republican nominee for the Mississippi U.S. Senate race.

Cochran’s opponent, state Sen. Chris McDaniel, is a Tea Party poster boy. Which means he’s pretty much a douche. How bad is he?

Well, this is a television ad that Cochran’s campaign didn’t broadcast against him:

That’s pretty insane. But how Cochran, a conservative Republican (Isn’t that redundant, though? Those are the only kinds of Republicans) won against a Tea Bagger is even crazier (from the Washington Post):

In an e-mail sent late last week, the black Democratic mayor of Vicksburg, Miss., urged 2,000 supporters to vote Tuesday for Sen. Thad Cochran, crediting the Republican for securing federal money for key local projects and calling him one of the city’s “best economic development tools.”

The voice of an African American state lawmaker was heard in a recorded phone call Tuesday asserting that Cochran stood between the state and a tea party conservative who would do away with government services. And full-page ads in black newspapers lauded the senator as a champion of historically black colleges.

An intensive strategy over the past three weeks to draw black voters to the polls and spare Cochran from what once seemed like a certain defeat at the hands of a tea party challenger in Tuesday’s GOP runoff appears to have worked.

Voter data shows that turnout rose sharply in Tuesday’s election in black areas of the state over the initial June 3 primary, a runoff made necessary when Chris McDaniel narrowly edged Cochran but was unable to win 50 percent of the vote.

That suggested that not only did traditionally Democratic black voters turn out on behalf of the state’s 76-year-old white Republican senator, but they may have provided his margin of victory.

What? I don’t get it. I mean, I do get it. It was a brilliant political move by the Cochran campaign. But let’s face it. The Republican party didn’t rise in the South because it was appealing to black voters.

Anyway, McDaniel is pissed. He refuses to concede. Something about “liberal Democrats” intruding on Republican elections.

But no laws were broken. And who’s to stop McDaniel from waging a write-in campaign in the general election.

Which brings us to the headline.

If McDaniel runs and splits the Tea Bagging crazies from the Republican Conservatives, it seems like the Democrat could actually win the damn thing in November. Unless African-American voters rally around Cochran again.

Mississippi Democrats wanted McDaniel to win, because … hell, look at the ad again. And there’s tons of additional McDaniel gems on women and minorities (he was a national right-wing talk radio phenom for a while). Given the way the GOP has consistently snatched defeat from certain victory by putting Tea Party crazies up for elections (Akin in Missouri, Mourdock in Indiana, Angle in Nevada, O’Donnell in Delaware), the Dems felt they had a shot in Mississippi.

But then, black people saved the incumbent Republican, and screwed that strategy up.

I think black voters, though, will probably go to the Democrat if this meme is passed around:

Impeachment is a two-step process that starts in the House. All it takes is a simple majority of that chamber to approve a single article of impeachment against the president for “Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.” Once that happens, a president is forever branded as having been impeached. President Andrew Johnson (1868) and President Bill Clinton (1998) share that distinction. President Richard Nixon resigned in 1974 before the full House could vote to impeach him.

To officially remove a president from office, two-thirds of the Senate must vote to convict him on those articles of impeachment. Johnson and Clinton were not convicted. Obama could share the same or worse fate. A Republican-controlled Senate could lead to Obama becoming the third president impeached and the first ever to be removed from office.

 

Obama has two years left in office. Time for the Democrats in Mississippi to step up and make sure he stays there. And if I’m the Democrat in the Mississippi race and McDaniel is still running, I’m going to make sure Cochran answers the question: Would you vote to impeach President Obama? If he answers yes, let’s see how much of the black vote he keeps.

Let’s destroy the world: A musical climate change chart

It’s lovely to watch your world collapse in a graphic. I wonder what Pat Sajak would say (via MSN):

Wheel of Fortune” host Pat Sajak sparked a social media backlash Tuesday after calling people concerned about climate change “unpatriotic racists.”

“I now believe global warming alarmists are unpatriotic racists knowingly misleading for their own ends. Good night,” Sajak tweeted late Monday.

I mean, really, who are you going to believe? The world’s scientists or a game show host who emcees a sophisticated version of Hangman? And where does the idea of racism and climate change come from?

Tea Party terrorism and the Wicked Witch of the West

Zillions of flag-wavin’, Obama hatin’ patriots had planned to gather in D.C. to overthrow the government this weekend. How do you think it went? (From the Washington Times):

Operation American Spring, billed as a Friday morning multi-million patriot march on Washington, D.C., to oust leadership from the nation’s capital — from President Obama to House Speaker John Boeher — has proven woefully below expectations.

“It’s a very dismal turnout,” said Jackie Milton, 61, a Jacksboro, Texas, resident and the head of Texans for Operation American Spring, to The Washington Times. He said hopes were high when he arrived in Alexandria, Va., a day or so ago and found motels and hotels were sold out for 30 miles around.

But weather’s dampened turnout a bit, he said.

“We were getting over two inches of rain in hour in parts of Virginia this morning,” Mr. Milton said. “Now it’s a nice sunny day. But this is a very poor turnout. It ain’t no millions. And it ain’t looking like there’s going to be millions. Hundreds is more like it.”

Who leads these bozos? The Wicked Witch of the West?

Who would have thought a little rain would destroy their beautiful wickedness? If bad weather keeps us free from the Tea Party terrorists, we’ve just seen the only positive thing to come out of global warming.

The right’s new hero

TMW2014-05-14color

Did you notice how when the GOP’s favorite rancher and Tea Party terrorist, Cliven Bundy, got in touch with his inner racist, Benghazi all of a sudden became the urgent Fox News/Republican talking point? That and new criticism of Hillary Clinton?

Karl Rove suggested at a conference Thursday that Hillary Clinton suffered a “traumatic brain injury,” according to the New York Post’s Page Six.

“Thirty days in the hospital? And when she reappears, she’s wearing glasses that are only for people who have traumatic brain injury?” Rove told the audience, as quoted by the Post. “We need to know what’s up with that.”

The Post reported that Rove repeated the claim several times at the conference, where he was speaking alongside former Obama spokesman Robert Gibbs and CBS correspondent Dan Raviv. He urged Republicans to continue pressing for answers about the Benghazi attacks and said voters deserve to know about the former secretary of state’s health issues if she decides to run for president, according to the Post.

The scumbaggery never ceases to amaze. (You know, of course, that the New York Post is owned by Rupert Murdock, who, coincidence of coincidences, owns Fox News.)