You want to help R Kelly? Get him some counseling.

According to the Washington Post:

R. Kelly’s lawyer has responded to allegations in a BuzzFeed News story that the R&B singer was holding six women in an abusive “cult.”

“Mr. Robert Kelly is both alarmed and disturbed at the recent revelations attributed to him,” his lawyer, Linda Mensch, said in a statement to People magazine. “Mr. Kelly unequivocally denies such allegations and will work diligently and forcibly to pursue his accusers and clear his name.”

The widely circulated BuzzFeed story, posted Monday, details several parents’ attempts to contact and free their daughters from R. Kelly’s properties in Chicago and Duluth, Ga. Former members of Kelly’s inner circle — Cheryl Mack, Kitti Jones and Asante McGee — allege that he controls what the women can and cannot do. They told BuzzFeed that the women, ranging from two teenagers to a 31-year-old “den mother,” are required to refer to Kelly as “Daddy” and must ask for permission to leave the properties. Kelly, 50, reportedly confiscated their cellphones and, in addition to dictating their daily activities, films their sexual encounters.

Every time I hear about R Kelly, I immediately remember this:

Thanks, Huey.

How did the mango-hued babyman sell us out this time?

Putin and his little pony

From The Hill:

President Trump held a second, informal talk with Russian President Vladimir Putin on the sidelines of the Group of 20 (G-20) summit in Hamburg, Germany, earlier this month, the White House confirmed Tuesday.

Press secretary Sean Spicer confirmed Trump and Putin spoke at the G-20 heads of state dinner, hours after their formal bilateral sit-down.

According to Tuesday reports, in their second conversation, Trump spoke with the Russian leader for roughly an hour, joined only by Putin’s translator. The meeting had previously gone without mention by the administration.

The White House confirmed that Trump and Putin spoke at a dinner for G20 leaders and their spouses. But a White House official appeared to dispute that the discussion lasted an hour, saying the two only spoke “briefly” near the end of the dinner. 

“There was no ‘second meeting’ between President Trump and President Putin, just a brief conversation at the end of a dinner,” the official said. “The insinuation that the White House has tried to ‘hide’ a second meeting is false, malicious and absurd.”

The White House said the two men used the Russian translator to converse because the American translator accompanying President Trump spoke Japanese. 

This is wrong on so many levels. Pussy grabber probably sold us out and agreed to something we’re going to regret later. How the fuck do you talk to Putin without your own translator sitting with you?

I really believe the interchange between Putin and his translator went like this:

Babyman: You know I beat Hillary bigly. It was the greatest electoral upset of all time. No one said I could do it. And I won the popular vote.

Putin’s translator to Putin (in Russian): Dickhead is jerking himself off again on how he won the election.

Putin to his translator (in Russian): Dipshit still hasn’t figured out that we rigged the whole thing. What a dope. What an ultramaroon.

Putin’s translator to Babyman: We congratulate you on your honorable victory.

Babyman: And don’t let anyone tell you I didn’t win the popular vote. All those illegal immigrants in California shouldn’t have counted. Bad people. Rapists. Murderers. I’m building a wall. It’s a great wall. The Great Wall of America. Chinese have nothing on us.

Putin’s translator to Putin (in Russian): You know he’s talking about the popular vote and immigrants, right? You heard him say California and wall and Chinese? How does he get his head that far up his ass?

Putin to his translator (in Russian): You remember those Jerry Lewis movies where the moron yells “Hey, lady!”? He reminds me of that guy. Hey, you want to stop by later and watch him and the whores on the pee tape? It’s a riot.

Putin’s translator to Babyman: Your accomplishments are monumental. You should be very proud of yourself.