We’re either living in Bizarro World or Oceania

bizarro_world_001In Bizarro World in the DC Universe, reality is reversed in every manner. So

— A lyingracistanti-Semiticxenophobichomophobicmisogynisticpedophile thief is considered qualified to run the most powerful country in the world. (Just click on every highlighted word in that sentence.)

— A president of the United States can win an election by getting 2.5 million fewer votes than his opponent.

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has garnered at least 65,527,625 votes in the 2016 presidential election, over 2.6 million more than the president-elect, who has received at least 62,851,436 votes, according to figures released Wednesday by The Cook Report, a nonpartisan election analysis organization.

Completely made up news is treated as reality.

The proliferation of fake and hyperpartisan news that has flooded into Americans’ laptops and living rooms has prompted a national soul-searching, with liberals across the country asking how a nation of millions could be marching to such a suspect drumbeat. But while some Americans may take the stories literally — like the North Carolina man who fired his gun in a Washington pizzeria on Sunday trying to investigate a false story spread online of a child-abuse ring led by Hillary Clinton — many do not.

baumhswBut in Oceania, where in the year “1984,” Big Brother is always watching through the telescreen, ministries perform the opposite function of what they’re named for. So:

— The proposed head of the Department of Labor wants to make it easier for businesses instead of workers.

On Thursday, Trump announced that he would nominate as his labor secretary Andrew Puzder, a fast-food executive who has opposed additional overtime pay for workers and expressed skepticism about increasing the minimum wage. That followed a pair of Twitter messages Wednesday evening in which Trump attacked an Indiana union leader who had criticized him, saying the official had done a “terrible job representing workers.”

— The proposed head of the Environmental Protection Agency is against protecting the environment:

President-elect Donald J. Trump has selected Scott Pruitt, the Oklahoma attorney general and a close ally of the fossil fuel industry, to run the Environmental Protection Agency, signaling Mr. Trump’s determination to dismantle President Obama’s efforts to counter climate change — and much of the E.P.A. itself.

Mr. Pruitt, a Republican, has been a key architect of the legal battle against Mr. Obama’s climate change policies, actions that fit with the president-elect’s comments during the campaign. Mr. Trump has criticized the established science of human-caused global warming as a hoax, vowed to “cancel” the Paris accord committing nearly every nation to taking action to fight climate change, and attacked Mr. Obama’s signature global warming policy, the Clean Power Plan, as a “war on coal.”

— The proposed head of the Department of Education wants to dismantle public education:

President-elect Donald Trump announced that he would nominate billionaire activist and Republican fundraiser Betsy DeVos as his education secretary.

Education historian Diane Ravitch believes that—if confirmed by the Senate—DeVos will become the most radical, anti-public-school education secretary since the Office of Education was established in 1867. “Never has anyone been appointed to lead in the past 150 years who was hostile to public education,” Ravitch told Mother Jones.

— The proposed head of the Department of Health and Human Services wants to eliminate the program that has provided healthcare to millions of previously uninsured Americans:

Donald Trump has chosen a prominent critic of Obamacare as his secretary of health and human services, casting fresh doubt over the future of the Affordable Care Act.

Last week, Price said that whatever Republicans do to replace Obama’s healthcare law will bear a “significant resemblance” to a 2015 measure that was vetoed by the president. That bill would have gutted some of the health care law’s main features: Medicaid expansion, subsidies to help middle-class Americans buy private policies, the tax penalties for individuals who refused to get coverage and several taxes to support coverage expansion. The bill would have delayed implementation for two years.

— And the proposed head of the Department of Housing and Urban Development isn’t interested in housing or urban development:

Donald Trump’s selection Monday of retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson to head the Department of Housing and Urban Development sets up what could be a collision between the nominee’s philosophical aversion to social safety-net programs and an agency that administers some of the government’s most expansive programs for helping minorities and low-income people.

Who knows? Maybe we’re living in both places, and the national slogan is:

War am peace.
Freedom am slavery.
Ignorance am strength.

The joke of the day (and it’s on the pump truppets)

czkz2t2usaahn0x

And now, the true punch line:

On Thursday, Trump announced that he would nominate as his labor secretary Andrew Puzder, a fast-food executive who has opposed additional overtime pay for workers and expressed skepticism about increasing the minimum wage. That followed a pair of Twitter messages Wednesday evening in which Trump attacked an Indiana union leader who had criticized him, saying the official had done a “terrible job representing workers.”

The actions, coming just four weeks after Trump won the presidency in part by wooing union voters with promises of better trade deals and a manufacturing revival, fed fears among national labor leaders that Trump was now planning a broad assault on unions.

“The president-elect campaigned on reaching out to working people, and this is one of a string of nominations that run counter to that,” said Eric Hauser, the AFL-CIO’s strategic adviser and communications director.

HA, HA, HA!!! YOU FELL FOR IT YOU MORONS! Or as you truppets spell it:

morans

But since you lied your asses off when you said you were voting on the economy and jobs (which by the way have gotten extraordinarily better since your imaginary Kenyan Muslim usurper, Barack Obama, replaced the fine Christian incompetent you could have a beer with, George W. Bush, the dumber), just keep wallowing in your xenophobia and racism and blaming brown people for all your self-inflicted wounds while the tiny-fingered, mini-peckered plutocrat-in-chief you elected fills his cabinet with greedy oligarchs whose only desire is to take food out of the mouths of your children and steal the meds from your sickly ma and pa.

MORANS!

It’s been 36 years since John Lennon died

On Dec. 8, 1980, this happened:

Mark David Chapman waited for John Lennon outside the New York City apartment building where the former Beatle lived with his wife Yoko Ono and his son.

Chapman, who was 25 at the time, had asked Lennon earlier that day for an autograph, which the former Beatle signed. 

Yet five hours later, the killer, who said he wanted to be famous, opened fire with a Charter Arms .38-caliber pistol striking Lennon four times.

The 40-year-old singer-songwriter collapsed, mortally wounded. TV networks in the United States interrupted their Monday Night Football broadcast to announce news of Lennon’s death. Within hours, the shocking murder became front page news across the globe. 

I was living in Pennsylvania at the time. My ex-girlfriend called me that night from Florida, crying. That’s how I found out John was dead.

John’s wife, Yoko, asked for a 10-minute silent vigil a week later in his memory. I drove from Harrisburg to New York to join the thousands who gathered outside the Dakota, the building in which John and Yoko lived across from Central Park.

One thing to point out in this video clip, though. The TV reporter said that you couldn’t hear a thing during the 10 minutes. He lied. Because I heard TV people saying how silent it was DURING THE TRIBUTE. I wasn’t the only one to try to shush the guys with the mikes, but they just prattled on. That was probably when I began to look down on TV people. They haven’t done anything to gain my respect, since.

Anyway, when the 10 minutes were over we heard this:

Mark David Chapman was born the same day I was. He was sentenced to 20 years to life for second degree murder. In his eighth parole application in 2014, he said he should be let go because Jesus has forgiven him. That was rejected. He sought parole this past August. That was rejected. His next parole hearing is in 2018. He should never be released from jail.

Yoko, who is now 83, still lives at the Dakota, across the street from the Strawberry Fields memorial in Central Park.

If John had lived, he would have been 76.

What’s missing from Marvel’s movie music?

Now, like the guy at the end, if you asked me for the music from the Marvel cartoons that were on TV decades ago, I could rattle off:

  1. Doc Bruce Banner, belted by gamma rays, turns into the Hulk. Ain’t he unglamorous?

  2. Cross the Rainbow Bridge of Asgard, where the booming heavens roar. You’ll behold with breathless wonder, the god of thunder, mighty Thor.

  3. Tony Stark makes you feel he’s the cool exec with the heart of steel. But Iron Man all jets ablaze, he fights and fights with repulser rays.

  4. When Captain America throws his might shield, of those of his foes who oppose his shield must yield.

And the Spider-Man theme, which the guy at the end missed a few words on.

But I couldn’t do a Marvel movie theme. That’s not a good sign for Marvel.