The Royal Wedding: Will and Kate Mountbatten

Yeah, I watched the whole thing.

Got up at 3 in the morning Eastern time, and was in front of a television and a computer monitor at 4 a.m., watching David and Posh Spice, Elton and Mr. John, PM Cameron and Spouse and a bunch of other high profile Brits that no one in America recognized.

It was interesting watching the route taken by the royal couple. I walked that route plenty of times in my expat days, a lifetime ago. It is a really nice walk. Especially when it’s not overwhelmed by exhibitionists in Union Jacks doing all they can to get their picture taken by international photographers eager to show the world how quaint they are in Britannia.

I watched the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton (now Catherine, Duchess of Cornwall) without commentary. Just paid attention to direct feeds and live streams. It was much more rewarding, because I know TV people were saying stupid TV people things.

Especially when the hats started appearing.

I overheard a ton of comments about Victoria Beckham’s hat. I heard tons of comments about everybody’s hat. But I thought the U.K. headwear was impressive.

Now we Americans have to strike back next week. Saturday, May 7, is Kentucky Derby Day, and anyone with any fashion sense knows that’s when American women hit hat-tackular heights. The Brits have laid down the challenge. It is our duty to respond.

I had a different point, though. Posh’s hat was … posh. But her shoes … did you get a look at those stilts?

How’s the weather up there, Posh? Should a pregnant woman really increase her chance of completely wiping out with shoes like that?

And since this is the only time I’m going to ever focus on fashion, I’ll make this final observation concerning the wedding dress.

Kate Middleton showed she had taste:

Her husband’s mother, on the other hand, showed she didn’t.

NOTE: Alright, what’s up with the headline? These are names they’re never going to use, but would be their real names if they were commoners. When William was born, the palace said that the future king of England would always be referred to as William. Not Will. Not Bill. Not Willie. Kate is now going to be referred to as Catherine. Not like a certain actress named Blanchett. Not like a TV show whose title ended “… and Allie.” And Mountbatten is the adopted name of William’s grandfather, the husband of Queen Elizabeth. So Phil Mountbatten and Liz Windsor had a son named Chuck Mountbatten. Chuck married Di Spencer, so their first kid was Will Mountbatten.

Well, at least we have Harry.

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