Iowa and the Death Star dumpster dive

Setting: Trash dumpster, the Death Star. Characters: Luke, Han, Leia, Chewbacca.

Leia: It could be worse.

(A onimous growl echoes through the dumpster)

Han: It’s worse.

(Star Wars: A New Beginning)

The above is the first thing I thought when I read this:

With 96 percent of precincts reporting at 11:40 p.m. Eastern, former senator Rick Santorum (Pa.) was in a virtual tie with former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney, leading him by just 79 votes. Both of them hovered around 24.6 percent of the total, with Rep. Ron Paul (Tex.) close behind at 21 points. It seemed possible that this year’s winner — whoever it turns out to be — would finish with the lowest percentage total of any GOP winner in Iowa’s modern history, sinking below Bob Dole’s 26 percent in 1996.

Senator Man-on-Dog, Governor What-do-you-want-me-to-say, and Congressman Ayn Rand Sr. These are your front runners for the GOP nomination for the president of the United States of America. The most powerful man on the planet. Someone must have dropped LSD at the Tea Party.

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