Romney finally gets the nomination, already

Santorum’s out. The gig is up.

Apple Inc.

Mr. Vice President?

GETTYSBURG, Pa. — Rick Santorum, with an abrupt decision to end his campaign Tuesday, cleared the way for Mitt Romney to claim the Republican nomination while dashing the hopes of social conservatives who had propelled Mr. Santorum’s surprisingly successful challenge to the Republican establishment.

So for all those Tea Baggers who paraded with their funny hats and their misspelled signs and swore they were going to shake up the status quo, they end up with the personification of big business who showed that when it’s a battle between ideology and money, the dollars always win. If Romney wasn’t loaded, there would still be a race and other Republicans … let’s call them Establishment Republicans … like Mitch Daniels and Chris Christie and maybe even Jeb Bush would have jumped in. And one of them would have taken the nomination because that’s where the money would have gone.

The golden rule: He who has the gold …

And since the nominee says “Corporations are people, my friend,” maybe he can get Apple Inc., which has a market cap of $600 billion, the highest amount ever for a corporation, as his vice presidential candidate. It fits the requirements for the presidency under article II section 1 of the Constitution.

No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

Apple was born in 1976. And its papers of incorporation serve as its birth certificate. Now there’s a candidate that can’t lose.

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2 thoughts on “Romney finally gets the nomination, already

  1. Pingback: Santorum’s Departure | The Sexy Politico's Blog

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