Romney apologizes to nation’s moochers

Another interpretation of Mitt Romney‘s view of the 47%, from The Onion:

SALT LAKE CITY—Seeking to limit the fallout from a videotaped speech in which he asserts 47 percent of Americans “pay no taxes” and do not take “personal responsibility and care for their lives,” Mitt Romney hastily called a press conference today to apologize personally to the “150 million starving, filthy beggars [he] might have offended.” …

“First and foremost, I would like to offer a heartfelt apology to all the whores, junkies, bums, and grime-covered derelicts out there who make up nearly half our nation,” a visibly contrite and solemn Romney said outside a campaign stop at a local high school. “Let me assure you that I in no way meant to offend any of the putrid-smelling, barefoot masses out there. My campaign is not about dividing this nation, but about bringing all sides together—the rich, elegant members of the upper class, as well as the 47 percent who are covered in flies and eat directly from back-alley dumpsters.”

“I am fully committed to building a better future for every American,” Romney continued, “and that means ensuring all 150 million grease-and-urine-soaked members of our society get a fair shake.”

What he actually said:

“It’s not elegantly stated, let me put it that way. I was speaking off the cuff in response to a question. And I’m sure I could state it more clearly in a more effective way than I did in a setting like that,” the embattled candidate said last night. “Of course I want to help all Americans. All Americans have a bright and prosperous future.”

Now, what’s an elegant way of saying “freeloading,scumbag moochers?”

And, since we’ve had a day to think about it, where do most of those dregs of humanity live?

So the red states, which rank 1 to 10,  are the ones where the percentage of people not paying federal income tax is greater than anywhere else in the country. And from what I can tell, with the exception of New Mexico, the red states are … red states, with Florida as a swing state.

That’s one way of appealing to your base.

1 thought on “Romney apologizes to nation’s moochers

  1. Pingback: Romney Apologizes To Nation’s 150 Million ‘Starving, Filthy Beggars’ | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source « Ye Olde Soapbox

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