Die, already!

I wonder what the guys at Spill.com are watching this week?

Now, wasn’t that tons more fun than “thumbs up and thumbs down?”


The Republican Savior

Here we go again. Another instance where I am slapped back into reality.

I heard someone say recently that a magazine had Marco Rubio, the Tea Bagging Republican senator from Florida, on the cover calling him the Republican savior. And I thought it was a joke, because of his GOP response to President Obama’s State of the Union speech, where he did this:

Like, WHO DOES THAT??!! I’m not a public speaker, but I’ve been around television to know that when you’re giving a major speech, you don’t reach clumsily for a bottle of water that’s outside the camera’s field of vision because … well, take a look at the clip again … that’s why! That just shows the guy isn’t ready for prime time.

But I’m on mass transit this morning, and there’s a woman with a magazine in her hand, and the cover is this:


Really? Why is he the “Republican Savior?”

Because he turned water into whine.

Happy Birthday, Pete and Lu

Today is my brother’s birthday. It is also my wife’s mother’s birthday.

They’re not with us anymore, but when they were, they would always note that it was the other’s birthday, he in New York and she in Kentucky. So, here’s a second birthday song to remember them by:

And just to round it out, yesterday was Yoko Ono‘s birthday. Believe it or not, Mrs. John Lennon is 80 years old!


Taking aim at the wrong problem

This is really annoying.

I can go on for hours on the irrationality of gun policy in America. If you’ve been reading this blog, you see I’ve gone on for hours on the irrationality of gun policy in America.

But even I can’t abide by this ridiculous piece of political correctness (from the Washington Post):

An 8-year-old boy in Prince William County (Virginia) pointed his finger like a gun in a school hallway after a friend pretended to shoot him with a bow and arrow. The class had been studying Native American culture and had just learned a deer-hunting song. …

The imaginary crossfire on Feb. 8 produced real-life fallout two months after the mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn. The boy was suspended for “threatening to harm self or others,” a misdeed on par with bringing an actual weapon to school. He served an in-school suspension Wednesday.

What?! Is this school district out of its mind?

Apparently not, because it’s happening across the country:

In January, a 5-year-old girl was suspended from Mount Carmel Area Elementary School in central Pennsylvania for allegedly speaking about shooting herself and another girl.

It turned out she was talking about her bright pink “Hello Kitty” gun, which shoots bubbles.

Her mother said the girl and two friends had been “pretending to be kitty cats” and talking about butterflies and ladybugs when the bubbles and the bubble gun came up.

The 5-year-old was questioned by three staff members and written up for making a “terroristic threat,” said Kelly Guarna, the girl’s mother. …

Five weeks after the incident, the child still has stomach aches and night terrors, her mother said. Last weekend, the girl stopped her mother from singing about shooting stars. All she heard was “shoot.” “Mom, you can’t say that,” the girl said.

It gets worse:

A widely reported Alexandria case followed in early February, when a 10-year-old was taken into police custody at Douglas MacArthur Elementary School for allegedly showing others on his bus a toy gun with an orange tip.

The boy was charged with brandishing a weapon. He was fingerprinted, his mother said, and now has a juvenile record and a probation officer.

Time to state the obvious: Look, school people, if a kid points his finger and says “pow” and if a little girl talks about her “Hello Kitty” bubble gun, that is not terrorism. Not in this life. Not in any past lives. That is called P-L-A-Y-I-N-G!!!!

If a 10-year-old shows his friends a toy gun, that is not a reason to call the cops (WHO HAVE REAL GUNS) to have them read him his Miranda Rights.

Toys and fingers do not spew out pieces of hot lead that travel through a human body at hundreds of miles an hour and rip organs to shreds. Are you all missing something?

Kids playing make-believe with guns is as American as … kids playing make-believe with guns. Everybody in the world knows that.

When my family lived in Europe, I took my young son and his friends and relatives to Eurodisney outside of Paris. You want to know what Europeans want to see when they’re at Eurodisney?

Because it’s cowboys and Indians and they have guns! And they sell cowboy hats and toy guns at the concession stands. (Am I the only one who hates the smell of caps fired in a toy gun?) That’s the world’s image of America. Everywhere we turned at Eurodisney, European kids had toy guns, because that’s what being in America is all about.

And you’re going to tell us that bubbles and fingers are terrorism?

Here’s an idea.

If you’re a teacher and you see kids pretending to shoot each other with pretend guns, turn it into an educational experience. Have the class write an essay on why guns are used.

If your pupil writes: “Guns are part of American history, but they can also be used to hurt people. We have a lot of guns in the United States, and we are trying to figure out how to make sure people keep their rights but at the same time make sure people are safe.”

Give the kid an A.

If the kid writes: “I like guns because I like to make things bleed and watch the light go out of their eyes when they die.”

Call the police and get that kid out of the building as fast as possible.