Ted Cruz announced yesterday that he’s running for president. You know what that means:
Notice how girls’ names have changed:
The more time passes, the more names develop.
Monica Lewinsky knows all about it. From a Ted Talk.
How did I miss this?
Sen. Ted Cruz (R., Texas) joked Tuesday morning about the intense coverage of his “your world is on fire” comments, saying overblown stories painted him as a “Freddy Krueger” who made a little girl cry.
Mr. Cruz, who is considering a presidential run, gave a talk in New Hampshire over the weekend in which he called President Barack Obama‘s health-care law a train wreck and said that the “Obama-Clinton foreign policy” leads from behind. “The whole world is on fire,” he said.
A little girl in the audience interjected: “The world is on fire?”
Mr. Cruz responded: “The world is on fire, yes. Your world is on fire. But you know what? Your mommy is here and everyone is here to make sure that the world you grow up in is even better.”
On MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” Tuesday, Mr. Cruz said he spoke to the girl’s mom on Monday, who was “dismayed” by all the attention the story was getting. “And I’ll tell you, it was funny because Julia, the little 3-year-old, she was in the background and her mommy said, ‘Ted Cruz is on the phone! Who’s Ted Cruz?’ And Julia at the top of her voice said, ‘The fireman!’ “
Keep it classy, Fox News minions. Looks like it’s not enough to scare old people. Let’s go across generations.
I don’t know who many of these characters are, but if you’re in those states, they’re obvious. Via Vox, which gives a rundown on every one of them at this link. (Click to enlarge):
Something weird is going on at McDonald’s and no one seems to notice it … except for editorial cartoonists:
From the Los Angeles Times:
After taking a major hit on social media for offering musicians free food instead of a paycheck, McDonald’s has turned about-face on its policy toward the bands that play its showcase stage at this year’s South by Southwest Music Conference in Austin, Texas.
The issue arose last week when Brooklyn band Ex Cops took to its Facebook page to complain that the fast-food giant had informed the group there would be no money for a performance on McDonald’s first sponsored showcase stage at the massive music-industry event.
McDonald’s just can’t catch a break. Last week, the company said same-store sales in the U.S. declined a full 4 percent in February. That followed a somewhat disastrous attempt to bring customers back to stores with an awkward “Pay With Lovin’ ” promotion, as well as the late-January resignation of CEO and longtime McDonald’s leader Don Thompson. In what seemed all but an outright admission of defeat, McDonald’s also said in its monthly sales report that it desperately needs to become a “modern, progressive burger company.”
Now, the company is facing a slew of health and safety complaints from restaurant employees who say they suffered serious burns from hot grease and worked in hazardous conditions without proper safety gear. In one particularly stirring anecdote, an employee says she sustained a bad grease burn to her arm while taking food out of a fryer and was told by a manager to “just put some mustard on it” when she asked for first aid. Over the past two weeks, a total of 28 complaints were filed with federal and state regulators in 19 cities, according to Reuters.
I was at an airport yesterday and heard people complain about the service at the kiosk McDonald’s (order took forever, order was wrong, people at the counter were unorganized and surly).
But given the way McDonalds treats its employees (musical and otherwise), the only thing that came to my mind was, “What do you expect?”
The NCAA tournament has begun (Hampton just beat Manhattan for the honor of being slaughtered by Kentucky in the Second Round), so this is the Final Four I’m looking for:
In the East
In the Midwest
In the West
And in the South
Yes, I know some of these picks are insane, but that’s why they call it March Madness. (For the emojis for every team in the tournament, click here and make your own bracket.)