The Iowa caucuses in Legos Democrats

Big election event this week. But what does it mean? An explanation with Legos:

Wow! That makes absolutely no sense.

Why are we even bothering with Iowa? It doesn’t represent America from an ethnic standpoint. It’s industrial preferences are economically and environmentally unsound and it’s a small state in the middle of nowhere that isn’t a reliable indicator of who’s going to get the nomination.

Chemically speaking: the Flint water crisis

Here’s an explanation of the Flint, Mich., lead scandal from a purely scientific standpoint (via Compound Interest):

Flint-Water-CrisisYou see, science is important. And if the governor of Michigan relied on scientists who didn’t see that this was happening, he either needs to fire them all, or admit that he was part of the conspiracy to kill poor people.

Of course, neither is going to happen. But that’s what happens when people believe it’s a good idea to elect rich businessmen as their leaders.

And how do we know that the governor of Michigan was a rich businessman?

In his first gubernatorial election in 2010, [Rick] Snyder campaigned as “pro-life, pro-Second Amendment, [and] pro-family,” with a focus on the economy.[12] His campaign emphasized his experience in growing business and creating jobs in the private sector, saying that his opponents were mainly career politicians.

Now where have we heard that?

If Flint, Mich., was full of rich people

flintwater800I guess this should be funny/ironic, but this is exactly what would have happened.

Things are so bad in Flint, the people who live there would rather have someone from Virginia test their water, because they know the state is going to lie to them:

In Flint, Mich., there is a famous block of concrete that for decades has served as a community message board. Like an old-school Facebook feed, residents use it to post personal news, images, upcoming events and commentary in sprawling graffiti.

This week, several residents went to “The Block” (or “The Rock,” depending on whom you ask) with a message. In big, black capital letters they painted: “YOU WANT OUR TRUST?? WE WANT VA Tech!!!” Underneath they wrote “PSI” and circled it in red with a line through it. It stands for Professional Service Industries Inc., the independent business the city hired to test its water for contamination, and which the residents don’t trust.

They want Marc Edwards, Virginia Tech’s environmental engineering professor who once led, almost entirely on his own, a crusade against the federal government’s failure to protect residents of Washington from lead in the city’s water. And he won.

Edwards spent thousands of dollars out of his own pocket to test the water when a Flint resident asked for his help. He presented his findings of dangerous lead levels to the state, and he was ignored. Then he got the public records that showed the state knew there was a problem and did nothing about it.

Gov. Rick Snyder’s skinflint, Michigan

1-17-mcfadden-KOSSo, another Republican enacts a policy that will kill poor people. And who do his fellow Republicans blame?

With Republican Governor Rick Snyder under serious pressure over the Flint, Michigan water crisis, Fox News is trying to shift blame to the Obama administration’s Environmental Protection Agency, local Flint officials and even the residents of Flint who are the victims of this GOP malfeasance.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

So are they blaming Obama because as president he knows that the GOP is full of amoral murderous, racist ass wipes, but he didn’t read Snyder’s mind fast enough to let people know that when you elect a Republican to anything you better get out there and start digging extra graves for all the people who are going to die?

Any other bit of Republican deviancy you need to know about today?

During a Saturday rally in Iowa, Donald Trump said he wouldn’t lose any support in the presidential race from voters even if he shot someone.

“I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters, OK?” Trump said

No, that can’t be right. Nobody in their right mind would say anything that evil and stupid, not even a Republican. This must be one of those things liberals make up to make the GOP look bad.

Oh, for fu_____….

Nevermind. Why bother? It’s only going to get worse:

Florida Sen. Marco Rubio says he bought a gun on Christmas Eve to protect his family from Islamic State militants.

“I have a right to protect my family,” Rubio said in an interview on CBS’s “Face the Nation.” … “I have a right to protect my family if someone were to come after us. In fact, if ISIS were to visit us or our communities at any moment, the last line of defense between ISIS and my family is the ability I have to protect my family from them or from a criminal or anyone else who seeks to do us harm. Millions of Americans feel that way.”

And this is supposed to be the Republican’s anti-Trump.

Trump/Palin 2016: The clown car takes a right on the Crazytown Expressway


Oh, god. This can’t be happening. I thought Sarah Palin was gone for good. You know, eaten by a Mama Grizzly off the tip of Alaska where you could see Russia from your kitchen window.

And to top it off, as Sarah was gearing up for the big endorsement, one of the baby Palins was off in Alaska doing something uncool. Yeah, the page in the New York Daily News is real and the bottom headline on the Daily News page is about her Iraq War vet son. Knowing Palin, I’m sure there’s someone to blame that isn’t his parent (from the Washington Times):

Sarah Palin claimed Wednesday that her son, a 26-year-old Iraq veteran who was arrested this week on domestic violence charges, was “hardened” by war and blamed President Obama for failing America’s veterans.

Track Palin was arrested Monday night following a dispute with a girlfriend at the Wasilla home he shares with his parents. He was arraigned on Tuesday, the same day the 2008 Republican vice-presidential nominee endorsed Republican presidential front-runner Donald Trump.

Oh, for fuck’s sake. (I’m sorry, I’m now at the point where I find myself saying this every day.) Of course, I could stop turning into a nihilist and look at this in another way:

But I mean, really, Just when you think we’ve hit every possible level of cosmic absurdity, we end up with Palin and Trump. Together. On stage. Live. I put myself through the torture of watching that non sequitur spectacular. I won’t impost that on you. But Stephen Colbert captures what happened perfectly:

Let’s just throw in all the chips here. The GOP should nominate Donald for president. And he should pick Sarah for vice president. Because in this Dadaist nightmare we call the primary season, that’s the only way this can end.