Voices carry: Your accent reflects your vote

So I’m bopping around the Twitterverse and I see this poll:

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A couple of observations.

Who the hell are the 2% of black people who are choosing the KKK’s poster boy?

Oh, right. I forgot about him.

Next: According to this, Hillary Clinton has majority support in the 18-40, 41-65 and 65+ age groups. Isn’t that, like, a majority of every age group that’s voting? Doesn’t that mean that when everyone turns out to vote, the result is going to be a certain Bubba named Bill going through the front door of the White House in January saying, “Daddy’s home!” (Read that quote and imagine Bubba’s accent. I laugh every time.)

Finally, the loud-mouthed New Yorker with Davy Crockett’s coonskin cap grafted on his skull has a 63-37 lead among people with strong southern accents. Let me see if I can communicate with them here:

Y’all out of your dagblasted minds?

Sorry, I can’t do it. This guy can:

Ha, ha! Melted-candle-assed motherfucker. Wish I’d thought of that!

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