When you consider just how ill-informed flatulent butternut squash Donald Trump’s campaign is, this bewildering fact makes a lot of sense.
The Washington Post reports that according to Federal Election Commission filings, the Trump campaign has spent $1.8 million on polling from June 2015 to September of this year. They have spent an astonishing $3.2 million on hats.
Hats. Dumb hats that say “Make America Great Again,” in camo and black and white and red, with the American flag emblazoned on them, sold to Trump supporters and some people somewhere that might wear them as an attempt at irony.
What the hell is this guy doing? He cancels major fundraisers, he pimps his hotel in D.C. (where he’s not going to get any electoral votes) instead of campaigning in states where the presidential race is close, and he spends more on those stupid hats than on polls to see how bad he’s gonna get his ass kicked on Nov. 8.
The only voter fraud taking place is the fact that the flatulent butternut squash is wasting our time by turning Americans against each other and casually threatening the very existence of the republic.
(Flatulent butternut squash: Wish I’d thought of that.)