President Hookerpiss takes the oath of office, gives a speech that defies reality and the day turns to shit:
I’m in D.C. Early in the morning, the streets were filled with military and my first thought was “is this going to be what life is like in Trump’s America?” I eventually ended up on this block and saw the fires, and the pepper spray and the concussion grenades and the riot squad. I made my way out of there as soon as I could.
When you’re the president, and you vow to end “American carnage” (where the fuck do you get that from, by the way?) in front of a couple hundred thousand mouth breathers, don’t be surprised when asshole anarchists, who are just looking for a reason to smash things, take you up on your word. But I really believe the anarchists were Lugenorange supporters who intruded on the crowds to make the protesters look bad (see “rat fuckers” and Republicans).
And no, this isn’t the fault of liberals. I was in Washington four years ago when a million people (four times the size of your crowd, you cinnamon dipstick) gathered at the National Mall for the ceremony. I could bicycle around the city. The military and police presence wasn’t noticeable and never really didn’t cross my mind, because I wasn’t thinking that an amateur Mussolini would do things that would make the military have to take over the streets.
And eight years ago, when 1.8 million people showed up for Obama’s first inaugural …
We didn’t have riots. We didn’t have anger. And we didn’t have a president pouring gasoline on a nuclear bomb.
Thanks, pump truppets. (Morans)