Fasten your seatbelt

This happened at the Indy 500 Sunday:

Both cars are destroyed. There was a time when a crash like this would have killed both of these drivers. Just take a look at YouTube videos of past Indy car crashes.

Instead, the most seriously hurt person was a photographer behind the wall. Which means spectators are in more danger than drivers are.

Even if you’re not a car racing fan, though, you have to appreciate the safety features being built into these machines, because some variation of them will eventually be put in your family sedan. And when you hit a wall at a much lower speed, you won’t die, either.

50 shades on orange via France

Jezebel explains:

Ok, did you see that? DID YOU SEE THAT? You saw it.

Emmanuel Macron walks STRAIGHT TOWARDS TRUMP. Trump is obviously expecting it—everyone is expecting it. However, at the last second, Macron swerves in the other direction and not just to anybody, but to Angela Merkel, a woman you know Trump can’t stand because she’s better at her job than he is.

Macron shakes Merkel’s hand then proceeds to shake the hand of everyone else in his vicinity. After making him wait as long as he possibly can, Macron finally turns to Trump and engages in one of his stupid “me big strong man” exhibitions he calls a handshake.

 

The Argument: My god. I almost don’t even want to say too much about it because some things are so beautiful they should be enjoyed and experienced in their purest state without any extra commentary or cutter. That, that was fucking incredible.
“I don’t have to tell you you’re the laughingstock of the entire world and nobody respects you because you know you’re the laughingstock of the entire world and everybody hates you, you got-left-hanging-in-front-of-everybody motherfucker.”

 

The Conclusion: Shade

The history of Vladimir Putin

This is why he needed to knock Hillary Clinton out of the presidency and why he’s keeping his little pony in check:

You think the pony isn’t obeying orders?

U.S. President Donald Trump on Thursday intensified his accusations that NATO allies were not spending enough on defense and warned of more attacks like this week’s Manchester bombing unless the alliance did more to stop militants.

In unexpectedly abrupt remarks as NATO leaders stood alongside him, Trump said certain member countries owed “massive amounts of money” to the United States and NATO — even though allied contributions are voluntary, with multiple budgets.

His scripted comments contrasted with NATO’s choreographed efforts to play up the West’s unity by inviting Trump to unveil a memorial to the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks on the United States at the new NATO headquarters building in Brussels.

“Terrorism must be stopped in its tracks, or the horror you saw in Manchester and so many other places will continue forever,” Trump said, referring to Monday’s suicide bombing in the English city that killed 22 people, including children.

“These grave security concerns are the same reason that I have been very, very direct … in saying that NATO members must finally contribute their fair share,” Trump said.

NATO Secretary-General Jens Stoltenberg defended Trump, saying that although he was “blunt” he had “a very plain and clear message on the expectations” of allies.

But one senior diplomat said Trump, who left the leaders’ dinner before it ended to fly to Italy for Friday’s Group of Seven summit, said the remarks did not go down well at all.

“This was not the right place or time,” the diplomat said of the very public harangue. “We are left with nothing else but trying to put a brave face on it.”

In another unexpected twist, Trump called on NATO, an organization founded on collective defense against the Soviet threat, to include limiting immigration in its tasks.

And Trump did say that the United States “will never forsake the friends who stood by our side” but NATO leaders had hoped he would more explicitly support the mutual defense rules of a military alliance’s he called “obsolete” during his campaign.

Instead, he returned to a grievance about Europe’s drop in defense spending since the end of the Cold War and failed to publicly commit to NATO’s founding Article V rule which stipulates that an attack on one ally is an attack against all.

“Twenty-three of the 28 member nations are still not paying what they should be paying for their defense,” Trump said, standing by a piece of the wreckage of the Twin Towers.

“This is not fair to the people and taxpayers of the United States, and many of these nations owe massive amounts of money from past years,” Trump said as the other leaders watched.

Nicholas Burns, a former long-time diplomat and ambassador to NATO from 2001-2005, now a professor at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government, said every U.S. president since Harry Truman had pledged support for Article V and that the United States would defend Europe.

You undermine NATO, you give Putin more power.

Thanks, pump truppets.

Remember when the GOP said impeachment was the answer to all of our problems?

The Rude Pundit does:

In 2013, then-Senator Tom Coburn mused at a town hall meeting, “I don’t have the legal background to know if that rises to ‘high crimes and misdemeanors,’ but I think you’re getting perilously close.” Coburn, a Republican (obviously) brought up impeachment of President Obama as a possible response to unspecified things that Obama had done. Mostly, presidenting while black, but probably Coburn would have said, “Something, something, something, immigrants.”

Around the same time, Republican Representative Blake Farenthold, 100 pounds of shit in a fifty pound bag from Fuck If I Care, Texas, told his constituents, who totally believed that Obama was born in Africa, “If we were to impeach the president tomorrow, we would probably get the votes in the House of Representatives to do it.” Walking cold sore Ted Cruz bemoaned to a bunch of his drooling maniacs, “To successfully impeach a president you need the votes in the U.S. Senate.” Neither Farenthold nor Cruz, in course of making Texas even dumber, gave any grounds for impeachment, just a general sense of something not right (see above, “presidenting while black”).

In 2013 and 2014, the Tea Party plague rats kept demanding to know why that goddamn Muslim Kenyan who was making us all into healthy gay Communists wasn’t being impeached. And their members of Congress were more than willing to indulge their idiot fantasy for a few whoops at rallies and a bunch of votes.

At least pubic hair-topped Rep. Jason Chaffetz wanted to impeach Obama for a reason: the attack on the American consulate in Benghazi, Libya (which, as you know, was worse than 100 9/11s times a dozen Pearl Harbors). And skeevy shitworm Steve King was hyped to impeach over Obama not being a complete dick to undocumented immigrant kids.

There’s a fuckin’ Wikipedia page devoted to all the reasons why Republicans talked about impeaching Obama, eight years worth. And not a goddamned one of them rises to the level of a single thing Donald Trump has done in the last four months.

A couple of Republicans are hinting at being open to impeachment. But the best representation of the cowardice and cravenness that is the GOP right now is that the Republicans in the House just blocked a vote on establishing an independent commission to investigate Russia’s interference in the 2016 election.

It’s not just hypocrisy by many of the same Republicans who wanted to lynch Obama for every fake scandal they could conjure. Now, with Trump, they are likely aiding and abetting a pile of high crimes and a shit load of misdemeanors.

Fruity pleasures from the Orange Menace

This actually showed up in a White House press announcement:

I think a nice juicy cobbler would do wonders in getting Arabs and Israelis to work together. I mean, who doesn’t like lasting pie? I’m sure Georgia will supply the lasting peaches.

And just in case you think that was just an honest mistake, here’s Il Douché speaking in Israel:

Notice how the guy on the right goes for a face palm but quickly decides to make it a hair smoothover. But for the rest of us, when Dumbo says to the Israelis that he just got back from the Middle East, this is the inevitable reaction: