Alternate history: the Civil War

The inspiring light to pump truppets everywhere said this:

I mean had Andrew Jackson been a little later you wouldn’t have had the Civil War. He was a very tough person, but he had a big heart. He was really angry that he saw what was happening with regard to he Civil War, he said “There’s no reason for this.” People don’t realize you know, the Civil War, if you think about it, why? People don’t ask that question, but why was there the Civil War? Why could that one not have been worked out?

There are many things wrong with this but let’s focus on one part by quoting the liberal bias of history:

Andrew Jackson
7th U.S. President
Andrew Jackson was an American soldier and statesman who served as the seventh President of the United States from 1829 to 1837 and was the founder of the Democratic Party. Wikipedia
BornMarch 15, 1767, Waxhaws
American Civil War
The American Civil War was an internal conflict fought in the United States from 1861 to 1865. The Union faced secessionists in eleven Southern states grouped together as the Confederate States of America.Wikipedia
DatesApr 12, 1861 – May 9, 1865

 

Look at when Andrew Jackson died, and look at when the Civil War began.

This is what you did in middle school when you didn’t study the chapters on Andrew Jackson or the Civil War in history class and the teacher hit you with a pop quiz. Unless, of course, the ghost of Andrew Jackson showed up in the White House and told Abe Lincoln, “There’s no reason for this!”

Anything else?

Did anyone know? Uh, yeah. This was also on the pop quiz.

Anything else?

Ok, fuck it, We’ve failed the quiz.

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