About brobrubel

Retired journalist. I've reported and edited for newspaper in Florida, Kentucky, New York, Brussels and London. I also spent a few years as a government flack in Pennsylvania. This blog contains random thoughts on politics, world affairs and entertainment

50 shades on orange via France

Jezebel explains:

Ok, did you see that? DID YOU SEE THAT? You saw it.

Emmanuel Macron walks STRAIGHT TOWARDS TRUMP. Trump is obviously expecting it—everyone is expecting it. However, at the last second, Macron swerves in the other direction and not just to anybody, but to Angela Merkel, a woman you know Trump can’t stand because she’s better at her job than he is.

Macron shakes Merkel’s hand then proceeds to shake the hand of everyone else in his vicinity. After making him wait as long as he possibly can, Macron finally turns to Trump and engages in one of his stupid “me big strong man” exhibitions he calls a handshake.

 

The Argument: My god. I almost don’t even want to say too much about it because some things are so beautiful they should be enjoyed and experienced in their purest state without any extra commentary or cutter. That, that was fucking incredible.
“I don’t have to tell you you’re the laughingstock of the entire world and nobody respects you because you know you’re the laughingstock of the entire world and everybody hates you, you got-left-hanging-in-front-of-everybody motherfucker.”

 

The Conclusion: Shade

The history of Vladimir Putin

This is why he needed to knock Hillary Clinton out of the presidency and why he’s keeping his little pony in check:

You think the pony isn’t obeying orders?

U.S. President Donald Trump on Thursday intensified his accusations that NATO allies were not spending enough on defense and warned of more attacks like this week’s Manchester bombing unless the alliance did more to stop militants.

In unexpectedly abrupt remarks as NATO leaders stood alongside him, Trump said certain member countries owed “massive amounts of money” to the United States and NATO — even though allied contributions are voluntary, with multiple budgets.

His scripted comments contrasted with NATO’s choreographed efforts to play up the West’s unity by inviting Trump to unveil a memorial to the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks on the United States at the new NATO headquarters building in Brussels.

“Terrorism must be stopped in its tracks, or the horror you saw in Manchester and so many other places will continue forever,” Trump said, referring to Monday’s suicide bombing in the English city that killed 22 people, including children.

“These grave security concerns are the same reason that I have been very, very direct … in saying that NATO members must finally contribute their fair share,” Trump said.

NATO Secretary-General Jens Stoltenberg defended Trump, saying that although he was “blunt” he had “a very plain and clear message on the expectations” of allies.

But one senior diplomat said Trump, who left the leaders’ dinner before it ended to fly to Italy for Friday’s Group of Seven summit, said the remarks did not go down well at all.

“This was not the right place or time,” the diplomat said of the very public harangue. “We are left with nothing else but trying to put a brave face on it.”

In another unexpected twist, Trump called on NATO, an organization founded on collective defense against the Soviet threat, to include limiting immigration in its tasks.

And Trump did say that the United States “will never forsake the friends who stood by our side” but NATO leaders had hoped he would more explicitly support the mutual defense rules of a military alliance’s he called “obsolete” during his campaign.

Instead, he returned to a grievance about Europe’s drop in defense spending since the end of the Cold War and failed to publicly commit to NATO’s founding Article V rule which stipulates that an attack on one ally is an attack against all.

“Twenty-three of the 28 member nations are still not paying what they should be paying for their defense,” Trump said, standing by a piece of the wreckage of the Twin Towers.

“This is not fair to the people and taxpayers of the United States, and many of these nations owe massive amounts of money from past years,” Trump said as the other leaders watched.

Nicholas Burns, a former long-time diplomat and ambassador to NATO from 2001-2005, now a professor at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government, said every U.S. president since Harry Truman had pledged support for Article V and that the United States would defend Europe.

You undermine NATO, you give Putin more power.

Thanks, pump truppets.

Remember when the GOP said impeachment was the answer to all of our problems?

The Rude Pundit does:

In 2013, then-Senator Tom Coburn mused at a town hall meeting, “I don’t have the legal background to know if that rises to ‘high crimes and misdemeanors,’ but I think you’re getting perilously close.” Coburn, a Republican (obviously) brought up impeachment of President Obama as a possible response to unspecified things that Obama had done. Mostly, presidenting while black, but probably Coburn would have said, “Something, something, something, immigrants.”

Around the same time, Republican Representative Blake Farenthold, 100 pounds of shit in a fifty pound bag from Fuck If I Care, Texas, told his constituents, who totally believed that Obama was born in Africa, “If we were to impeach the president tomorrow, we would probably get the votes in the House of Representatives to do it.” Walking cold sore Ted Cruz bemoaned to a bunch of his drooling maniacs, “To successfully impeach a president you need the votes in the U.S. Senate.” Neither Farenthold nor Cruz, in course of making Texas even dumber, gave any grounds for impeachment, just a general sense of something not right (see above, “presidenting while black”).

In 2013 and 2014, the Tea Party plague rats kept demanding to know why that goddamn Muslim Kenyan who was making us all into healthy gay Communists wasn’t being impeached. And their members of Congress were more than willing to indulge their idiot fantasy for a few whoops at rallies and a bunch of votes.

At least pubic hair-topped Rep. Jason Chaffetz wanted to impeach Obama for a reason: the attack on the American consulate in Benghazi, Libya (which, as you know, was worse than 100 9/11s times a dozen Pearl Harbors). And skeevy shitworm Steve King was hyped to impeach over Obama not being a complete dick to undocumented immigrant kids.

There’s a fuckin’ Wikipedia page devoted to all the reasons why Republicans talked about impeaching Obama, eight years worth. And not a goddamned one of them rises to the level of a single thing Donald Trump has done in the last four months.

A couple of Republicans are hinting at being open to impeachment. But the best representation of the cowardice and cravenness that is the GOP right now is that the Republicans in the House just blocked a vote on establishing an independent commission to investigate Russia’s interference in the 2016 election.

It’s not just hypocrisy by many of the same Republicans who wanted to lynch Obama for every fake scandal they could conjure. Now, with Trump, they are likely aiding and abetting a pile of high crimes and a shit load of misdemeanors.

Fruity pleasures from the Orange Menace

This actually showed up in a White House press announcement:

I think a nice juicy cobbler would do wonders in getting Arabs and Israelis to work together. I mean, who doesn’t like lasting pie? I’m sure Georgia will supply the lasting peaches.

And just in case you think that was just an honest mistake, here’s Il Douché speaking in Israel:

Notice how the guy on the right goes for a face palm but quickly decides to make it a hair smoothover. But for the rest of us, when Dumbo says to the Israelis that he just got back from the Middle East, this is the inevitable reaction:

President Babyman leave a note at the holocaust memorial

When you have low hopes for Orange Julius, he manages to still perform under expectations.

The wrinkled pussygrabber visited the Holocaust Memorial in Israel and was so moved, he left this note:

Because the president of the United States should leave a message that reflects the depth of thought of a middle-school student who didn’t read the chapter on the Holocaust before the class trip.

Want to see the messages left by certain other Americans?

Here’s the note from the person who should be president:

And here’s the note from our last real president:

Every day Hookerpiss is president, I wish nothing but mounting pain and suffering for every pump truppet who made this nightmare possible.

Tearing down monuments to racism

Statues celebrating the Confederacy are being toppled like statues of Saddam Hussein in Baghdad. Certain people will lie and tell you the statues are about heritage and states rights.

Here’s Mayor Mitch Landrieu (D) of New Orleans with the best explanation of why these statues have to go:

This is probably one of the most significant speeches ever given by a Southern politician.

You’ll notice, though, that there’s a glitch in the video. A section of the speech was dropped. Here it is:

After the Civil War, these statues were a part of that terrorism as much as a burning cross on someone’s lawn; they were erected purposefully to send a strong message to all who walked in their shadows about who was still in charge in this city.

Should you have further doubt about the true goals of the Confederacy, in the very weeks before the war broke out, the Vice President of the Confederacy, Alexander Stephens, made it clear that the Confederate cause was about maintaining slavery and white supremacy.

He said in his now famous ‘Cornerstone speech’ that the Confederacy’s “cornerstone rests upon the great truth, that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery — subordination to the superior race — is his natural and normal condition. This, our new government, is the first, in the history of the world, based upon this great physical, philosophical, and moral truth.”

Now, with these shocking words still ringing in your ears, I want to try to gently peel from your hands the grip on a false narrative of our history that I think weakens us and make straight a wrong turn we made many years ago so we can more closely connect with integrity to the founding principles of our nation and forge a clearer and straighter path toward a better city and more perfect union.

Last year, President Barack Obama echoed these sentiments about the need to contextualize and remember all of our history. He recalled a piece of stone, a slave auction block engraved with a marker commemorating a single moment in 1830 when Andrew Jackson and Henry Clay stood and spoke from it.

President Obama said, “Consider what this artifact tells us about history … on a stone where day after day for years, men and women … bound and bought and sold and bid like cattle on a stone worn down by the tragedy of over a thousand bare feet. For a long time the only thing we considered important, the singular thing we once chose to commemorate as history with a plaque were the unmemorable speeches of two powerful men.”

A piece of stone – one stone. Both stories were history. One story told. One story forgotten or maybe even purposefully ignored.