The Super Bowl ad Fox didn’t want you to see

Now, why a lumber company based in a small conservative town in western Pennsylvania (called Eighty Four) would run such a pro-immigrant ad is beyond me, especially in the Hookerpiss era.

But I really appreciate the commitment, because Super Bowl ads aren’t cheap. And as I watched the cut down version, I wanted to see how it would end, which I’ve never done when a TV ad says go to the website to see the rest.

Still, Fox refused to air this in full, probably because it’s five minutes long, but mostly because Fox is owned by an illegal Aussie immigrant and virgin blood sucker named Rupert Murdoch. (OK, he isn’t illegal. He’s a billionaire who paid off a lot of people to get in so he could brainwash a bunch of mouth breathers to hate non-white immigrants).

In the ad’s initial iteration, a Mexican mother and daughter, who appear to be on their way to the United States, come across a depiction of an imposing border wall, reminiscent of the one Trump has touted will eventually divide the country from Mexico.

“Ignoring the border wall and the conversation around immigration that’s taking place in the media and at every kitchen table in America just didn’t seem right,” said Rob Schapiro, the chief client officer at Brunner, the agency that worked with 84 Lumber to come up with the ad. “If everyone else is trying to avoid controversy, isn’t that the time when brands should take a stand for what they believe in?”

But while 84 Lumber believed in its message, Fox, which aired Sunday’s game, thought it was a little too controversial.

“Fox would not let us air ‘the wall,’ ” Schapiro said. 

What really matters in a presidential race

From Jezebel:

When you consider just how ill-informed flatulent butternut squash Donald Trump’s campaign is, this bewildering fact makes a lot of sense.

The Washington Post reports that according to Federal Election Commission filings, the Trump campaign has spent $1.8 million on polling from June 2015 to September of this year. They have spent an astonishing $3.2 million on hats.

Hats. Dumb hats that say “Make America Great Again,” in camo and black and white and red, with the American flag emblazoned on them, sold to Trump supporters and some people somewhere that might wear them as an attempt at irony.

What the hell is this guy doing? He cancels major fundraisers, he pimps his hotel in D.C. (where he’s not going to get any electoral votes) instead of campaigning in states where the presidential race is close, and he spends more on those stupid hats than on polls to see how bad he’s gonna get his ass kicked on Nov. 8.

The only voter fraud taking place is the fact that the flatulent butternut squash is wasting our time by turning Americans against each other and casually threatening the very existence of the republic.

(Flatulent butternut squash: Wish I’d thought of that.)

Yes, you have too much information online

For proof, let’s look at Tom in Belgium:

This isn’t an exaggeration. Four years ago, I posted this:

Both are from Safe Internetbanking, in Belgium. We worry about the government spying on us, when in reality every business has everything it needs to know about you. Obviously, you know this because you see what happens online when you look at an ad or order anything. The next day, all of the advertisements you see online are related to the thing you bought the day before. And since the government and businesses know everything about you, how hard is it for a hacker to take your life over?

The Europeans are far more strict on Internet privacy, and look what happened to these people. Imagine what happens in the U.S. Checkout the Safe Internetbanking site. It has some good advice.

Which one of these ads is racist?

This 2016 one from China?

Or this 2007 one from Italy?

Let’s first of all ignore the fact that the Chinese ad is blatant plagiarism. The correct answer, of course, is neither of the detergent makers care, because they both just got a ton of free worldwide publicity from all the news organizations that reported on the debate on whether the most recent ad, from China, was racist.

I wouldn’t be surprised if — despite all the pearl clutching and sensitive souls being overwhelmed by the vapors — the detergent sales are going through the roof in China, and Coloreira in Italy just got a sudden boost from an ad it introduced nine years ago. That’s the beauty of advertising.

And the thing is, these ads are irrelevant, because there are other, far more racist ads out there that have an immediate and direct impact on our lives. Like this one:

Uh oh. Words are coming out of Donald Trump’s mouth. You know what that means?