Nice ad. Bad idea.

I never look at ads that run before YouTube videos, but as I was checking one out on a dog using an automatic tennis ball thrower (to be posted at a future date)  I saw this:

It’s an elaborate ad for Lyft, and as I sat mesmerized by it I wondered:

Why is that old lady driving in the snow! Doesn’t she know she’ll get in an accident and could die?

And then she gets in an accident. But Lyft gives us a happy ending. But I’m still thinking: “If this was real life, she would have died.”

So, Lyft. DON’T ENCOURAGE OLD PEOPLE TO DRIVE IN THE SNOW!!!!

If you’re driving slowly, get out of the left lane

Yes, yes, yes! I cannot agree with this more!

I lived in Europe for seven years, and the first thing I noticed when I got back to America — besides the outrageous enormity of American vehicles — was that slow people wouldn’t get out of the damn passing lane. It is absolutely inexcusable.

And, NO!!! Just because the speed limit is 55 doesn’t mean you can drive in the left lane and delay the rest of the world because you’re driving 55, and you’re legal and screw the 100 cars behind you filled with people who ACTUALLY HAVE PLACES TO GO!!!

Yes. I speed. And when I’m caught, I just take the ticket because I know I speed. And if I wasn’t speeding, I’ll take the ticket anyway, because I know I was speeding somewhere along the way.

But those of you who block traffic by driving the limit aren’t cops and aren’t doing the world a favor. You’re disasters waiting to happen. That’s the reason there are so many people in graves with headstones marked, “I was driving the limit.”

That reference to the Autobahn in Germany: absolutely true. I’ve taken the Autobahn on many trips between Belgium and Germany, and when I hit the German border, I absolutely gunned it. Great roads, perfect driving conditions.

I remember numerous times going 110 miles per hour (Yes, mph, not kph, even though the speedometers in Europe are in kilometers), or more in my little Volkswagen Polo, and I had to move out of the fast lane, BECAUSE SOMEONE BEHIND ME IN A MERCEDES WAS DOING 130!!! And it was perfectly normal, and traffic flowed fine. Because people understand what a passing lane is in Europe.

You do 110 or 130 in America, you’re going to die …

… BECAUSE SOME IDIOT IS DRIVING 55 IN THE FAST LANE.

You really can’t imagine how annoyed I get when I’m on the road. Especially when there’s a car in the fast lane doing 55, while the cars in the slow lane are doing 54. If you’re in the passing lane, PASS FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!! The longer you linger, the greater the possibility you’re going to cause a 50 car pileup.

And this is why, since I’ve been back in America, I avoid driving whenever possible.

The ultimate GOP rewrite of history

I can’t believe the words coming out of Rudy Giuliani’s mouth:

What the hell did he just say? In the eight years “before Obama came along, we didn’t have any successful radical Islamic terrorist attack in the United States.” Am  I dreaming? Was he not the fucking mayor of New York City on Sept. 11, 2001?

This is Republican rhetoric at its purest form. The country today is a bleak hellscape because nothing bad happened until  Barack Obama became president.

Let’s go through the list of Republican “truths”:

  1. The economy was in great shape before Obama took office:

2. The stock market was running on all cylinders until Obama was elected:

3. The auto industry was booming and its jobs were secure until  Barack Obama screwed it up:

4. There were no natural disasters before Obama took office:

5. Obama doesn’t deserve any credit for capturing Osama bin Laden:

6. And now, there were no terrorist attacks on American soil before the Kenyan usurper with the fake birth certificate moved into the White House:

What the hell is wrong with Giuliani? What the hell is wrong with people in the GOP base who believe all these lies? Do they really think you can erase history just by saying the things that happened didn’t happen?

Obviously, they do.

And that’s why Republicans selected a habitually lying. moldy, worm-infested tangerine for their presidential candidate, and why deep in their reptilian brains they thrive on campaign rhetoric that reinforces their view that the Democratic opponent is a crooked, lying bitch.

Whatever happened to the truth?