Russians know Americans are morons

Specifically, morons from Texas.

This is an image from a Texas Facebook secessionist account called Heart of Texas. At its peak, it has more followers than the Texas Democratic and Republican parties Facebook accounts combined.

According to the Washington Post:

Its organizers had a strangely one-dimensional idea of its subject. They seemed to think, for example, that Texans drank Dr. Pepper at all hours: while driving their giant trucks, while flying their Confederate battle flags, while griping about Yankees and liberals and vegetarians.

But Heart of Texas, sadly, was no joke. At one point the page’s organizers even managed to stir up its followers into staging an armed, anti-Islamic protest in Houston. As gradually became clear, this was part of a broader strategy. The sponsors of the page were keen to exacerbate America’s own internal divisions.

By the summer of 2016, other themes began to emerge. Posts began to follow a perceptibly hard-right course, stressing Texas’s status as a “Christian state,” or touting the Second Amendment as a “symbol of freedom … so we would forever be free from any tyranny.” Some of the page’s contributors talked about the need to “keep Texas Texan,” whatever that meant. There was also a generous dollop of conspiracy theory. There were posts about the allegedly unnatural death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia and the supposed federal invasion orders behind the Jade Helm military exercise. Fake Founding Father quotes mingled with anti-Muslim screeds and paeans to Sam Houston. And the number of followers steadily crept into the hundreds of thousands.

But the account wasn’t run by Texans.

Just like that, the most popular Texas secession page on Facebook was revealed to be a Russian front, operated by the notorious Internet Research Agency, with Facebook removing all of the posts from public view. …

We know that the Russians behind these sites played all of their readers, and especially those who showed up at its protests in places like Twin Falls and Fort Myers and Houston, for fools. Considering that the number of their combined followers ranged into the millions — with some estimates placing total views potentially in the billions — they’re probably right.

Let’s put this in perspective. There is someone in Russia tinkering around on a computer saying “Let’s see how fucking stupid Americans are.” And that person believes the best place to find fucking stupid Americans is in Texas.

And the American secretary of state, who is from Texas, has designated his boss, the karrot koiffed krapmeister, as “a fucking moron.”

We are so screwed.

 

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The bigoted leprechaun and fragile egos

America’s attorney general and model for a white sheet clad garden gnome, Jeffrey Beauregard Sessions III did this today:

Attorney General Jeff Sessions is just a few public appearances away from demanding we bend the knee (and not in the protesting way), I can feel it.

On Tuesday, the Justice Department head gave a speech at Georgetown University’s law school, in which he tried out some shockingly bad propaganda on the invite-only audience, claiming, for instance that universities are attacking free speech. “The American university was once the center of academic freedom, a place of robust debate, a forum for the competition of ideas,” Sessions told the crowd. “But it is transforming into an echo chamber of political correctness and homogenous thought, a shelter for fragile egos.”

This coming from a delicate lily of the valley who got the vapors when California Sen. Camilla Harris asked him questions in his confirmation hearing:

“Why fiddle dee dee. I have such a delicate constitution and can’t possibly respond to your aggressive query. Lawdy, Lawdy, whatever am I going to do?!?! Somebody please bring me my smelling salts.”

Nice country you got there. Shame if something bad happened to it

This didn’t make any sense:

President Trump has instructed advisers to prepare to withdraw the United States from a free-trade agreement with South Korea, several people close to the process said, a move that would stoke economic tensions with the U.S. ally as both countries confront a crisis over North Korea’s nuclear weapons program.

Withdrawing from the trade deal would back up Trump’s promises to crack down on what he considers unfair trade competition from other countries, but his top national security and economic advisers are pushing him to abandon the plan, arguing it would hamper U.S. economic growth and strain ties with an important ally.

Until I saw this:

North Korea sharply raised the stakes in its stand-off with the rest of the world Sunday, detonating a powerful nuclear device that it claimed was hydrogen bomb that could be attached to a missile capable of reaching the mainland United States.

Even if Kim Jong Un’s regime is exaggerating its feats, scientific evidence showed that North Korea had crossed an important threshold and had detonated a nuclear device that was exponentially more powerful than its last — and almost seven times the size of the bomb that destroyed Hiroshima. 

The krappy korrupt kretin is extorting South Korea.

The colonel’s right. This is a bad joke. The pump truppets put a krook in the White House who’s thinks you’re supposed to run a country like you’re a mob boss. And there’s a psychopath in North Korea who makes the mob boss think he’s going to get away with it.

How the krimson kapped konman pissed me off today

Babyman and Flotus visited Texas yesterday to look over the flood damage. I found that annoying, because when presidents go anywhere, that means a lot of resources have to be reassigned for security purposes. And when Houston is 30% underwater, emergency officials don’t need to be bothered with babysitting a temperamental twit.

But that didn’t piss me off. This did:

OK, so the dynamic duo leave the plane. That’s not the problem. The hats are. Click this link and you’ll see this:

The grifter in chief is hawking a hat he’s selling on his fundraising site for $40. He’s using a national disaster as an advertising gimmick so he can fleece the rubes with his merchandise. And it’s not like he just had the one hat on so he could cover his head in the rain, as this photo shows:

The krusty klown krapmeister is hawking multiple hats to his mindless minions.

You don’t think that’s a problem. FIne. Don’t listen to me. Let someone else tell you how scummy this is:

What has also received air time? The “Official USA 45th Presidential Hat,” for sale by Trump’s campaign for $40. 

The watchdog group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, or CREW, points out that the president has been pictured wearing the hat, both in red and in white, in two official photos released by the White House. He wore the white version on his trip to Houston Tuesday.

“Even removed from the hurricane, it’s pretty inappropriate,” CREW spokesman Jordan Libowitz said.

The issue at play here is free advertising for Trump products, according to CREW.

Thanks, pump truppets. You’ve just turned human suffering into a selling opportunity.