50 shades on orange via France

Jezebel explains:

Ok, did you see that? DID YOU SEE THAT? You saw it.

Emmanuel Macron walks STRAIGHT TOWARDS TRUMP. Trump is obviously expecting it—everyone is expecting it. However, at the last second, Macron swerves in the other direction and not just to anybody, but to Angela Merkel, a woman you know Trump can’t stand because she’s better at her job than he is.

Macron shakes Merkel’s hand then proceeds to shake the hand of everyone else in his vicinity. After making him wait as long as he possibly can, Macron finally turns to Trump and engages in one of his stupid “me big strong man” exhibitions he calls a handshake.

 

The Argument: My god. I almost don’t even want to say too much about it because some things are so beautiful they should be enjoyed and experienced in their purest state without any extra commentary or cutter. That, that was fucking incredible.
“I don’t have to tell you you’re the laughingstock of the entire world and nobody respects you because you know you’re the laughingstock of the entire world and everybody hates you, you got-left-hanging-in-front-of-everybody motherfucker.”

 

The Conclusion: Shade

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Le Café de Balzac

The 19th century French author Honoré de Balzac allegedly drank 50 cups of coffee a day. (It’s in the New Yorker, so it must be true.)

I have a bad reaction to caffeine, something called an ocular migraine, which means I temporarily go blind. I’m not kidding. I once drank a Pepsi, and minutes later, my vision started shimmering on the right side. Then, like a slow moving storm, it moved from the right side of my face to the left, and I was unable to read for about a half hour.

Freaked me out. I would have gone to the hospital, but I went to the Internet to see if I was having a stroke. The symptoms matched that of an ocular migraine. The Web entry said it was caused by stress and caffeine. Since I can’t control stress, I cut out caffeine.

But even if I didn’t have that reaction and could drink caffeine, I would think that 50 cups of coffee a day would kill you, right? (And decaf didn’t exist in the 19th century.)

Compound Interest says otherwise:

Lethal-Doses-Chemicals

So Balzac only had about half a fatal dose of coffee a day. And he died at age 51. I think I see the cause of death.

But six liters of water? Isn’t that drowning? And 13 shots of alcohol? Isn’t that a frat party?

Attacks in Paris

The news out of Paris is horrific. Religious fanatics with guns and bombs have killed at least 120 people. It’s an attack by Islamic State psychopaths.

The best television news coverage has been on France 24.

President Francois Holland gave this speech soon after the attack on the Stade de France, where he was one of the fans at a football match between France and Germany:

And President Obama had this to say from the White House:

But the French are in solidarity. Football fans sang the national anthem as they left the Stade de France after the attacks:

And, of course, someone stupid has something disgusting to say about it all.

 

Fox News in France

OK, so you don’t speak French, but if you stick with this, you’ll understand the reaction the people in Europe have to Fox News’s reports that there are places in Europe that are “no-go zones” because they’ve been taken over by Islamists.

The Parisians have come to the same realization that many of us in America have had for years.

Fox News makes you stupid.