Donald Trump: Small hands, small mind

That’s what Donald Trump meant right? That Little Marco Rubio (wouldn’t that be Marcolito?) had implied that because Trump had small hands, something else on him was small, which obviously must be a reference to his brain?

Small side note: I remember watching “Pee-wee’s Playhouse” years ago (because I was in my 30s and extremely immature), and Cowboy Curtis made a similar observation about body parts.

OK, let’s get past the fact that Lawrence Fishburn is Cowboy Curtis, because this is long before Morpheus and “The Matrix.” But as I parse this, I guess the small hands/small mind construct is too abstract. By the rules of “Pee-wee’s Playhouse,” Marcolito’s reference to Trump’s small hands meant that Trump also had small gloves.

Because if it meant anything other than that, this Trump dig, after Mitt Romney blasted him a couple of days ago, could mean something to horrible to imagine:

Trump: “Mitt, drop to your knees. You know I don’t have small hands.”

After all, what else could that mean?


Hungry like ‘the Wolf’

I saw this movie a couple of weeks ago, and really enjoyed it:

It was truly a celebration of rich people behaving badly, and Leonardo DiCaprio was excellent in it.

Technically, it’s not supposed to be an inspirational movie. You know, bad people doing bad things and all that. Apparently, some stock brokers don’t see it that way (from the London Evening Standard):

Cinemas across London are preparing to welcome thousands of bankers, brokers and traders to bespoke private screenings, the Standard has learned, and a cinema booking company says there is more corporate demand for this film than any they can remember.

With one company planning to dress up Nineties Wall Street-style for the occasion, the City’s buzz about [Jordan] Belfort has the ring of an enthronement. It is tempting to think that DiCaprio’s character might be a new cult hero for a new generation of bankers, as Gordon Gekko (protagonist of 1987’s Wall Street) was to their bosses. You can imagine the Square Mile’s new generation quoting Belfort’s corny phrases about money, drugs and women like their pre-crash predecessors did Gekko’s.

A comedy email flying around between bankers in London and New York this week makes the link, plotting a market index since the Eighties with arrows showing major price falls on the release dates of Wall Street and its 2010 sequel Money Never Sleeps, and a Wolf of Wall Street arrow pointing at today’s high price. Will the Wolf consign so many bankers and traders to therapy and rehab that the markets will plummet on its release, the jokes goes. At least I think it’s a joke.

For those of you not familiar with international financial markets, “the City” referred to here isn’t London. The City is what the Brits call their version of Wall Street. They’re treating this movie like it’s a blueprint for success. Maybe they’re thinking all they have to avoid will be the drugs, the prostitutes and the money laundering. That way, they can steal people’s money legally, I guess.

Oh, by the way. The Wolf lives. Jordan Belfort is now a motivational speaker in California. Here’s an interview with him:

Got to admit. The guy is smooth.

Google autocomplete and family relationships


As anyone who uses the Google search engine knows, when you start to type out a question, you’ll immediately get a dropdown of questions that begin with the same wording. That’s called autocomplete.

So many questions are asked on Google, that the database immediately draws up the most frequently asked ones using that phrasing, assuming that chances are since everyone else is asking them, you’re asking the same thing.

It’s a good indication of the state of mind of the world. When so many people are asking the same question, that’s a sociological trend.

A few days before I saw this cartoon on XKDC (click on it for a larger image), I was experimenting with Google’s autocomplete function and wondering what would come up when the focus involved families.

It is not encouraging.

Just go to Google, type in the following terms and see what pops up:

Why does my father
Why does my mother
Why does my husband
Why does my wife
Why does my sister
Why does my brother
Why does my son
Why does my daughter
Why does my aunt
Why does my uncle

The autocomplete on these terms makes you feel like your trapped in an episode of “The Jerry Springer Show” or “Maury” or any of those live daytime shows that dwell on the depravity of ancestry.

The only family situation in autocomplete that didn’t repulse me was:

Why does my grandfather

Have a go at it. You’ll be surprised, and depressed, by the results.

There are a lot of unhappy families out there.


Did you know dribbling is allowed in football?

OK, this is going to sound bizarre.

I just got a digital antenna, which allows me to watch broadcast television.

(Yeah, I know it’s no big deal. But I haven’t had cable television since 2003, and I never got an antenna for television until this week. So all that stuff people were saying the past decade about the thing they saw the previous night on the tube. … I had no idea what they were talking about.)

Anyway, I’m cruising the channels, and I land on an ad in which former Baltimore Ravens lineman Tony Siragusa is selling adult diapers:

And I’m thinking, why is he doing this?

So I go online, and the Intertubes tell me that it’s for guys who leak as a result of prostate cancer surgery. But I’m wondering if the number of men with that problem is that high? High enough to justify an ad campaign that has to get into the millions of dollars.

Then I saw this:


And suddenly, everything makes sense.

So the lesson I get out of it?

I should have never gotten a digital antenna. There are some things I was better off not knowing.