The body double conspiracy, revealed

I can’t believe these people:

Despite what Donald Trump’s supporters and others are saying on Twitter, Teresa Barnwell is not working as Hillary Clinton’s secret “body double.” On Monday, #hillarysbodydouble was trending on the social network and it’s the latest rumor in an election cycle that has given a platform to several absurd conspiracy theories. After the Democratic presidential candidate left a 9/11 memorial event early on Sunday for health reasons, and later emerged from her daughter’s New York City residence in good spirits, some suggested the healthier-looking Clinton was not actually her.

Who was this “other” Hillary? Conspiracists have pointed to Barnwell, who has been impersonating Clinton since the 1990s. Nevermind that Barnwell was in Los Angeles on Sunday for a live taping of the television show Lip Sync Battle. On Monday, Barnwell’s website crashed from all the traffic. Asked if she is working as a “body double” for the candidate, Barnwell says, “Good heavens, no.”

Let’s put this in the file with Barack Obama was born in Kenya. Or Barack Obama is a Muslim. Or Hillary Clinton killed Vince Foster. Or …

WAIT! WHAT? THERE’S PROOF OF THE BODY DOUBLE? FROM WHEN HILLARY WAS A TEENAGER!!!

OH, MY GOD! IT’S THE SAME HAIRDO. AND THE SAME BONE STRUCTURE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN 50 YEARS AGO. IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW BETTER, YOU’D SWEAR IT’S THE SAME PERSON.

Bravo, supporters of the candied yam. You’ve convinced me. Now you have to get this conclusive evidence before the rest of America before it’s too late.

Decoded: Racist stereotypes that used to be the opposite

Let’s just say that somehow the racists still find a way to apply all of these stereotypes to African-Americans. Which can in itself be a loaded term, because Africa is a big continent, and it consists of black and white people.

Like how many of you refer to this person an African-American?

Yes, Charlize Theron is African American. She became an American citizen in 2007. She was born in South Africa, and when she won the Oscar for the 2003 movie “Monster,” it was considered an honor for the nation. Nelson Mandela said so, so it must be true.

Now if we ever become a land that elects a caramel clown for president, and people just like these two weren’t world famous but still had high moral character, which one do you think the alt-White/alt-Right folks would let in while claiming the other was a terrorist sympathizer?

That was a roundabout way of saying that the stereotypes in the first video aren’t applied to African Americans, they’re applied to blacks. And since all of these once ethnic stereotypes have been turned on their ear, repurposed into racial stereotypes, let’s deal with the fact that race, from a scientific standpoint, isn’t real:

And now that we’ve done our dissertation on skin color, let’s get to the issue that is guaranteed to further fuel the Trumpster fire that’s making America hate again.

Are Hispanics/Latinos white?

Well, yeah, there are whites who are of Latino heritage (I’m old. It’s going to take a while for me to reach Latinx).

One immediately comes to mind, and he’s a hero to the alt-racist crowd:

George Zimmerman says he acted in self-defence

That’s George Zimmerman. He’s the pseudo-Neighborhood Watch fascist who got away with murdering Trayvon Martin, a black kid headed to his father’s house, in 2012. Zimmerman was born in America (Virginia to be exact). His father is American and his mother came from Peru. But he was white until someone down in Florida decided to make him Latino so people would stop saying the murder was racist.

Which is was. And still is.

Elon Musk says we’re living in a simulation

For those of you who don’t know:

Elon Reeve Musk (born June 28, 1971) is a South African-born Canadian-American business magnate, engineer and inventor.

He is the founder, CEO and CTO of SpaceX; co-founder, CEO and product architect of Tesla Motors; co-founder and chairman of SolarCity, co-chairman of OpenAI; co-founder of Zip2; and founder of X.com which merged with PayPal of Confinity. As of June 2016, he has an estimated net worth of US$12.7 billion, making him the 83rd wealthiest person in the world.

Musk has stated that the goals of SolarCity, Tesla Motors, and SpaceX revolve around his vision to change the world and humanity. His goals include reducing global warming through sustainable energy production and consumption, and reducing the “risk of human extinction” by “making life multiplanetary” by setting up a human colony on Mars.

In addition to his primary business pursuits, he has also envisioned a high-speed transportation system known as the Hyperloop, and has proposed a VTOL supersonic jetaircraft with electric fan propulsion, known as the Musk electric jet.

Now, let’s think about this simulation.

Because isn’t that what Musk is saying?

OK, here’s where I see the flaw. If this is a simulation, it makes no sense to have suffering or death. Since it’s a program, all of that is a simple matter of coding. Remove that part of the program, and everyone is in paradise. What would be wrong with that?

Now if the programmers tens of thousands of years from now designing this simulation surrounding us are including death and suffering as part of the program, then they’re just being assholes, playing God because it amuses them. And based on some of the news stories we see each day, the programmers are sick and twisted assholes.

And this takes Musk’s simulation theory out of the realm of science and into the philosophy of religion: The programmer of the future is an all seeing and all knowing being deciding who gets pain and joy, poverty and wealth, weakness and power, and death and life.

If simulation theory is your religion, it’s no different than Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Scientology or any other belief structure based on a higher being who determines your fate.

For some people, that provides a solace, but it also creates conditions where no one is responsible for their actions because everything has already been determined.

And, isn’t this whole discussion just one of those “first world” problems, anyway?

In the real world, a mother trying to feed her starving baby in Appalachia, or a father moving his family from a war zone to a safe country has no time to be reassured that their suffering or the danger around them is just a simulation.

It’s reality, and reality sucks for a lot of people.

(While I’m writing this, a character in “The Sims” is wondering, “Is this just a simulation?” …

And the Sims programmer has included anxiety and death in the program. it turns out that today’s programmers are being sick and twisted assholes. Like the ones in the future?)

Yes, you have too much information online

For proof, let’s look at Tom in Belgium:

This isn’t an exaggeration. Four years ago, I posted this:

Both are from Safe Internetbanking, in Belgium. We worry about the government spying on us, when in reality every business has everything it needs to know about you. Obviously, you know this because you see what happens online when you look at an ad or order anything. The next day, all of the advertisements you see online are related to the thing you bought the day before. And since the government and businesses know everything about you, how hard is it for a hacker to take your life over?

The Europeans are far more strict on Internet privacy, and look what happened to these people. Imagine what happens in the U.S. Checkout the Safe Internetbanking site. It has some good advice.

The Panama Papers and piggy banks

You’ve probably heard some talk about something called the Panama Papers, which sounds like someone has been rolling joints, but involves rolling bank accounts.

Anyway, since it’s complicated and involve god awful sums of money but very rich people who are doing things legally and illegally, here’s an explanation that we all can understand. (Via Vox).