Who’s that man with the tiny hands in the tank?

So what’s the latest with the Republican Party’s ill-fitting suit filled with chickens come home to roost? (Thanks, John Oliver.)

Ha, ha! A pretend Trump going into different ethnic neighborhoods saying bad things about people in other ethnic neighborhoods. That would never happen, right?

In this election, Donald Trump has used a grieving black father’s loss to try to pit black voters against Mexican immigrants. He employs black spokespeople to tell black voters that immigrants are taking their jobs. He tweets false crime statistics as a ploy to get black people to talk about “black-on-black” crime and distract from the hate crimes at his rallies. …

The Queens, N.Y., native, who won the majority of his state’s Hispanic primary voters last month, will appeal to chasms among Hispanics: of income, citizenship status, national origin and exiles vs. immigrants (“Nothing against immigrants, but my parents were exiles. And the exile experience is different than the immigrant experience,” Marco Rubio has said). Trump will employ a strategy, as candidly described by one senator, “to divide and conquer the people … on assistance,” to get them “to look down at” each other.

This is how Trump—a man who wants to ban Muslims from the country—got the leader of the Nation of Islam to say about him, “I like what I’m looking at,” on the strength of Trump’s giving the most anti-Semitic speech of any presidential candidate since David Duke (who, not coincidentally, has endorsed Trump).

Satire is dead. It was killed by the reason why Melania has an “I’m with stupid” T-shirt.

Talk about politics and brain damage!

I would like to thank Stephen Colbert for reminding me of this turn-of-the-century video:

Since the mango tango combover and former mayor bald spot are encouraging people to go on the Internet for proof that Hillary Clinton is too frail to be president, it’s only fair for others to encourage people to go on the Internet for proof that these guys shouldn’t be within a five Zip code range of the White House.

Hence:

As for Giuliani, he swears Clinton has brain damage. But keep this in mind. He also said this:

You cannot be more brain damaged than this, right? Something pretty big happened in those eight years before Obama.  I think Joe Biden said it best:

 

The climate change debate is on a slow burn

California is on fire. Louisiana is under water and luxury cruise operators are now scheduling voyages through the Arctic.

And while this is all happening, we see in this election that the political party opting for Scrooge McDuck’s nephew as its presidential candidate plans to destroy the country,

Most of its leaders are in this video. This shows that their real goal is to destroy the planet.

Il Douchelini floods the zone: Trump in Louisiana

The governor of Louisiana has asked all the presidential candidates to stay away from the flooded areas of his state because political photo ops get in the way of disaster relief efforts. Here it is:

[President] Obama himself is facing criticism for not cutting short his annual summer vacation to visit the flood devastation in Louisiana, but the governor, Democrat John Bel Edwards, has publicly asked Obama to stay away, citing the drain on resources that a presidential visit demands and that he would prefer to devote to flood relief.

Of course, the right wing media minions are criticizing Obama and Hillary Clinton for not screwing up disaster relief efforts by showing up for a photo op when important work has to be done.

And, of course, the douchebag in a white baseball cap who Republican voters say is the right person to lead the free world and his holier-than-though fluffer vice presidential running mate go down to the flooded areas of Louisiana for a photo op.

la-na-pol-trump-louisiana-flooding-20160819-snap

Is that Play-Doh (click to enlarge because I can’t believe what I’m seeing)? You’re bringing Play-Doh as part of your photo op? Because when the water’s rising above your neck, nothing says “I need to be rescued” like Play-Doh?

I must be seeing this wrong.

Well, at least Mr. Make America Hate Again must have exerted a significant amount of time and energy as he helped unload that big truck:

On Friday morning, freshly-minted Donald Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway told ABC News that Trump and running mate Mike Pence would be traveling to Baton Rouge, Louisiana to “help people on the ground” in a “decidedly nonpolitical event” with “no press allowed.”
As it turns out, though, there actually were members of the press allowed, and the candidate did use the occasion to attack his political opponent, and there were opportunities for photographs, but true to his word, Trump did “help out.” Pool cameras trailed Trump for his entire visit, and over the course of those several hours, Trump “helped out” by unloading a truckload of toys for 49 seconds, these 49 seconds.

 

Is this a parody of a presidential campaign?

The ultimate GOP rewrite of history

I can’t believe the words coming out of Rudy Giuliani’s mouth:

What the hell did he just say? In the eight years “before Obama came along, we didn’t have any successful radical Islamic terrorist attack in the United States.” Am  I dreaming? Was he not the fucking mayor of New York City on Sept. 11, 2001?

This is Republican rhetoric at its purest form. The country today is a bleak hellscape because nothing bad happened until  Barack Obama became president.

Let’s go through the list of Republican “truths”:

  1. The economy was in great shape before Obama took office:

2. The stock market was running on all cylinders until Obama was elected:

3. The auto industry was booming and its jobs were secure until  Barack Obama screwed it up:

4. There were no natural disasters before Obama took office:

5. Obama doesn’t deserve any credit for capturing Osama bin Laden:

6. And now, there were no terrorist attacks on American soil before the Kenyan usurper with the fake birth certificate moved into the White House:

What the hell is wrong with Giuliani? What the hell is wrong with people in the GOP base who believe all these lies? Do they really think you can erase history just by saying the things that happened didn’t happen?

Obviously, they do.

And that’s why Republicans selected a habitually lying. moldy, worm-infested tangerine for their presidential candidate, and why deep in their reptilian brains they thrive on campaign rhetoric that reinforces their view that the Democratic opponent is a crooked, lying bitch.

Whatever happened to the truth?