Words fail him

Bugs Bunny?

Hit Girl?

Dipshit also threw in the “Merry Christmas” meme, because that’s what dipshits do. You know there’s a war on Christmas, right? Fox News says so.

And while we’re at it, 80 percent of white Christian nationalists (aka: white evangelicals), in Alabama overwhelmingly supported men in their 30s molesting 14-year-old girls in the Alabama U.S. Senate election Tuesday.

Roy Moore’s failed run for Alabama’s Senate seat tested white evangelicals’ allegiance to the Republican Party. Would they vote for a candidate who shares their conservative views on social issues even though he was accused of sexual misconduct by multiple women?

Exit polls suggest they did just that, with 80 percent of white evangelicals who voted selecting Moore in Tuesday’s special election, which was narrowly won by Doug Jones, the Democratic candidate.

Dipshit, above, was one of them.

Fake news for stupid people

This was shared on Facebook by more than 150,000 people:

The story that went with it said:

22nd Circuit Court of Appeals Justice Hansam al Alallawalahi-Smith made headlines this week when he overturned a ruling out of Dearborn, Michigan. The ruling allowed two critical and violent tenets of Sharia Law to be practiced here in the United States.

A couple of things:
1) There is no 22nd Circuit Court of Appeals. There are only 13.
2) There is no judge with this name.
3) The president can’t remove a federal judge. A federal judge has to be impeached by the House of Representatives, then convicted  by the Senate.

Oh, and by stupid people in the headline, I meant pump truppets.

 

The terrorist bus

Jesus, I completely forgot this. What do you see here?

If you give the wrong answer, you deserve a slap in the head. Because the following people need to be slapped in the head:

Last week, a photograph that appeared to show six women wearing burqas on a bus sparked a heated debate in a private Facebook group for Norwegians critical of immigration.

For many members of the group, which is called “Fedrelandet viktigst” or “Fatherland first,” the image encapsulated the problems Norway was facing after an influx of Muslim immigrants in the past few years. …

It also played into a continent-wide debate about Islamic dress across Europe. Norway’s right-wing government recently proposed a law that would ban some forms of dress worn by Muslim women in schools and universities — the first Scandinavian country to do so.

Some group members took the picture — posted with the comment, “what do people think of this?” — as proof that a ban was needed. More than 100 soon commented on it. “It looks really scary, should be banned. You can never know who is under there. Could be terrorists with weapons,” one user wrote, according to a translation from the Local website. Others described it as “frightening” and “tragic.” …

However, when you look at the photograph above more closely, it may become apparent that the photo itself is irrelevant to any debate about Islam in Norway. Why? Well, those are not burqas. They’re bus seats.

Now you could say these people are too stupid to breed, but I’ve seen dumber.

Back in 2008, a Democratic candidate for president named Barack Obama gave a speech in Ohio, with the American flag and this flag behind him:

The reaction was vicious:

On the October 15 broadcast of his nationally syndicated radio show, Bob Grant said: “[W]hat is that flag that Obama’s been standing in front of that looks like an American flag, but instead of having the field of 50 stars representing the 50 states, there’s a circle?” He then said: “Is the circle the ‘O’ for Obama? Is that what it is?” Grant later said: “[D]id you notice Obama is not content with just having several American flags, plain old American flags with the 50 states represented by 50 stars? He has the ‘O’ flag. And that’s what that ‘O’ is. That’s what that ‘O’ is.”

It’s sad to say, but it took another Obama hater, Michelle Malkin, to straighten this out, because the right wingers didn’t believe what people with brains were telling them:

I received several e-mails today from readers complaining about Barack Obama’s backdrop in Toledo today. Apparently, some talk show hosts have also gone ballistic over what they think is an “Obama flag:”

Relax, folks.

That’s not an “Obama flag.”

It’s the state flag of Ohio.

Right wing racists see things that just aren’t there. Like Obama flags and terrorist bus seats.

A Muslim in Trump country

An Indian Muslim doctor named Ayaz Virji moved from Pennsylvania to rural Minnesota in 2014 to start a private practice in an area that didn’t have many doctors. His neighbors were friendly and everything was fine.

Until November 2016, when 60 percent of his neighbors and too many other alleged Americans decided that an emotionally stunted pussy grabbing conman was worthy of leading the most powerful country on the planet.

He wanted to leave his new home. But, as the Washington Post reports, his neighbors asked if he would be willing to give talks on being a Muslim. When he decided to do it, friends suggested he wear a bulletproof vest.

His third talk was in a community that overwhelmingly went for babyman. Here’s what happened:

He introduced himself as a doctor who had studied comparative religion at Georgetown with professors who were “the epitome of intellect and scholarship.” He said that what he learned was that if you want to understand Islam, or anything, “you have to be sincere” and “you have to use your brain.”

He looked around at the crowd.

“Because it’s easy to demonize. You know, ‘Everybody else is crazy and I’m just right,’ ” he said sharply. “And what kind of society does that create? That’s what ISIS does. That’s what these zealots do. Do we want to be like that? As Americans, don’t we want to be better than that? Webetter be better than that.”

He glanced at his outline and made the point that of course ­Islam has its zealots, and he condemns them.

“But that’s not what we’re talking about,” he said. “Because if you say, ‘That’s Islam,’ then that’s like me saying, ‘Well, Christianity is David Kor­esh,’ ” he said, referring to the cult leader.

He began pacing a bit. People were listening.

“Do you guys know who the LRA is?” he said, referring to the Lord’s Resistance Army, the cultish Ugandan rebel group blamed for the deaths of more than 100,000 people. “How many of you knew about that? I want you to raise your hands.”

Two hands went up.

“How come you don’t know about that?” Ayaz said. “How come only Islam has terrorism? The KKK had 5 million members in the 1920s. Lynching of black people was normal. It was routine. Why don’t we look at ourselves, too, as well as others? You have alternative facts? Then go to a different lecture.”

No one was getting up to leave.

“So, the purpose of today is to know one another,” Ayaz continued, going back to the outline.

He quoted Koran verses to explain how there is no compulsion to convert people to Islam, how extremists who believe that “hate me more than they hate you,” and how Islam means peace, and soon, he began to veer.

“So Islam is not what you see on TV, okay?” he said. “I know Fox News. It’s not news. It’s the WWF, okay? Don’t use them as my spokesperson. When you say, ‘These people are animals and we have to blow them up,’ don’t say, ‘This is Islam.’ It’s not. And 99.9 percent of us will agree we need to condemn these people and it hurts us even more because they’re saying that God said this? Muhammad said this? Never in a million years.”

His voice was rising. He was getting angry. Mandy looked at him.

“Breathe, breathe,” she said.

He began talking about Trump’s former national security adviser, Michael Flynn, who had referred to Islam as a “vicious cancer.”

“There are 1.6 billion Muslims in the world! Now, according to General Flynn, we have to purge them? ‘We have to purge the world of Islam!’ ” he said in a mocking voice.

He was far off his outline now.

“You can sense I’m angry about that,” he said. “Wasn’t Jesus angry when he went into the temple and knocked over the tables of the money changers? He was angry. Injustice should make us angry! Okay? I am angry about the election. Because there is injustice there, and I have felt that within my family. And with the burning of mosques? And something like 150 bomb threats to Jewish synagogues? We should think.”

He looked at Duane again, a neighbor he had considered a friend before the election but had barely spoken to since.

“I’ll tell you. After the election, I was angry. And I was angry at my community for what they did. And I was ready to leave. Okay? I was ready to go and say you know what? Not my job. People think I’m a terrorist? I’m outta here. Fine. Find somebody else. The reason I’m here is not because I want to — my faith is very personal to me. I’m here because who else is going to do this, if not me?”

People were just sitting there, listening, not saying anything.

He asked them to imagine how they would feel if he judged Christians the way some people judge Muslims.

If he was dishonest, he said, he would pull out all the most violent Bible verses and say Christianity commands followers to kill.

If he was unfair, he would call the Christian cross a “symbol of torture.”

The room was quiet.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

“Love thy neighbor? Do unto others?”

“Why should I come to rural America and help people who think I’m a terrorist and say, ‘Let’s ban these people from coming here! Ban these doctors from coming here!’ ”

He looked at his outline.

“So, now let’s get to the issues . . . ” he said. “Who believes that Islam supports and promotes terrorism?”

No hands.

“None of you believe that? Really? Be honest! It’s okay! Nothing’s going to happen! I’m not a terrorist!”

Still no hands.

He moved on to what the Koran says about women, that they should be treated with dignity, and what Trump had said about grabbing women.

“What did he say? What did he say? You know what he said.”

He moved on to sharia.

“Sharia,” he said in a menacing voice. “Come on. You guys know. This is the Devil talking! Come on! You guys know this. Sharia. All Muslims want to impose sharia? Chop off your heads and gouge your eyes out? Right? Isn’t that what Muslims want to do? Isn’t that what I want to do?”

He kept going, veering on and off his outline, from arcane points of Islamic doctrine to the absurd things people say about Islam, which “are about as stupid as they come.”

He went over the history of Islam in America. He mentioned that Thomas Jefferson hosted what is considered the first iftar dinner, the meal that breaks the fast during the holy month of Ramadan. He talked about refugees. He talked about mercy. He talked and kept talking, and after an hour and a half in which not one person had left the room, Pastor Mandy tapped him on the arm and whispered that he needed to finish.

“I gotta do this,” he told her.

He had one last thing to say, about judgment. He read the Bible verse he had written down the night before from the Gospel of Matthew, which describes what Jesus will say to those who professed his name but failed him.

“And he will say, ‘I never knew you,’ ” Ayaz read. “ ‘Get away from me, you wicked people.’ ”

He looked up from his notes at the audience.

“He’s telling this to you,” Ayaz said. “So.”

He gathered his outline.

“Anyway,” he said. “I’m not going to talk about anything else.”

He sat down. He was exhausted.

I’m glad he was pissed off when he spoke. Because you can’t give a calm and rational speech to people who for the past decade have let Rush Limbaugh and Alex Jones and Fox News vomit into their head cavities.

President Babyman leave a note at the holocaust memorial

When you have low hopes for Orange Julius, he manages to still perform under expectations.

The wrinkled pussygrabber visited the Holocaust Memorial in Israel and was so moved, he left this note:

Because the president of the United States should leave a message that reflects the depth of thought of a middle-school student who didn’t read the chapter on the Holocaust before the class trip.

Want to see the messages left by certain other Americans?

Here’s the note from the person who should be president:

And here’s the note from our last real president:

Every day Hookerpiss is president, I wish nothing but mounting pain and suffering for every pump truppet who made this nightmare possible.

The two-faced sunburned babyman speaks out of both sides of his mouth … again.

A blast from the past:

And the 2017 interpretation:

U.S. first lady Melania Trump did not cover her head Saturday when they arrived in Saudi Arabia on the opening leg of his first international tour since taking office.

Two years ago, then-citizen Trump criticized then-first lady Michelle Obama’s decision to go bare-headed on a January 2015 visit with her husband.

“Many people are saying it was wonderful that Mrs. Obama refused to wear a scarf in Saudi Arabia, but they were insulted. We have enuf enemies,” Trump tweeted at the time, including a short-hand spelling for “enough.”…

While Mrs. Trump dressed conservatively Saturday in a long-sleeved, black pantsuit accented with a wide, gold-colored belt, her below-the-shoulder brown hair blew in the breeze at King Khalid International Airport in the capital city of Riyadh.

She followed the example set by other, high-profile Western women, including Mrs. Obama.

I’m blaming you, pump truppets. He’s a lying bucket of horse vomit and has always been one. And you keep letting him vomit in your skull cavity.

The Justice Department’s letter: What’s this really about?

On Friday, the Justice Department issued this release involving letters it sent to nine jurisdictions involving their sanctuary laws:

Today, the Department of Justice sent the attached letters to nine jurisdictions which were identified in a May 2016 report by the Department of Justice’s Inspector General as having laws that potentially violate 8 U.S.C. § 1373.

Additionally, many of these jurisdictions are also crumbling under the weight of illegal immigration and violent crime. The number of murders in Chicago has skyrocketed, rising more than 50 percent from the 2015 levels. New York City continues to see gang murder after gang murder, the predictable consequence of the city’s “soft on crime” stance. And just several weeks ago in California’s Bay Area, after a raid captured 11 MS-13 members on charges including murder, extortion and drug trafficking, city officials seemed more concerned with reassuring illegal immigrants that the raid was unrelated to immigration than with warning other MS-13 members that they were next.

The letters remind the recipient jurisdictions that, as a condition for receiving certain financial year 2016 funding from the Department of Justice, each of these jurisdictions agreed to provide documentation and an opinion from legal counsel validating that they are in compliance with Section 1373. The Department of Justice expects each of these jurisdictions to comply with this grant condition and to submit all documentation to the Office of Justice Programs by June 30, 2017, the deadline imposed by the grant agreement.

This specifically names three cities. And the reference to one of them is a complete lie. New York isn’t soft on crime and does not have a high murder rate. Paul Krugman provides the following chart:

And the New York Police Department issued the following statement:

So what are we really talking about here?

The cities singled out are Chicago, New York and San Francisco.

Now what do those cities mean to right wing bigots.

Chicago, when you translate from bigot, means Barack Obama, which means blacks.

New York, when you translate from bigot, means Jews.

San Francisco, when you translate from bigot, means gays.

Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions is a bigot. That’s why the midget digited orange troll appointed him to the post.

We’re not stupid. We’ve heard this dog whistle from Republicans ever since Richard Nixon. It’s the tool they use to get the pump truppet, Tea Party, gun fellating inbreds to drool and piss themselves.

Don’t let Hookerpiss and his cronies get away with it.

The chemistry of Easter eggs (or the lack thereof in D.C.)

What in your bunny basket today? Because you shouldn’t expect anything from the lying orange’s White House this year. Consider this from February:

Look out, Easter Bunny. You may be next.

President Trump hasn’t embraced many of Washington’s traditions. No Alfalfa Club dinner; no White House Correspondents’ Association dinner; no active first lady; no visits to D.C. schools, businesses or restaurants (except the one in his hotel on Pennsylvania Avenue); no trips to Camp David; and very few weekends even spent in Washington.

And the largest annual public event at the White House — the Easter Egg Roll — is still a big mystery.

The logistics that go into security, crowd control, activities and invitations for something this size are insane. Last year, 35,000 parents and children attended. Yet, no one has heard that any of the work is being done on this year’s event with only seven weeks to go.

A website that is not associated with the White House but is obsessed with the Easter Egg roll posted that the roll is set to be held on April 17 and promised that details will soon follow. But go to the official White House website and you get “no results” when you ask about anything Easter-related. And my efforts to reach anyone at the White House about it were unsuccessful.

Parents here in the nation’s capital and around the country keep checking. It’s kinda like waiting to get concert tickets. Only no one’s sure there’s going to even be a concert.

And this is driving parents crazy. February is the season for summer camp planning and entering the Easter Egg Roll lottery. Doesn’t the White House know this? The Trumps have a 10-year-old, after all.

When the godless commie Kenyan Muslim usurper was in the White House, the Easter Egg roll ran without problem. Now that we have a Christian conservative coalition approved pseudo-fascist in the Oval Office, the bunny is screwed.

I mean, who knew an Easter Egg roll could be so complicated?

WASHINGTON — President Trump received an urgent warning in February, informing him of a crucial date he was about to miss.

“FYI manufacturing deadlines for the Easter eggs are near,” said a Twitter post directed at Mr. Trump; the first lady, Melania Trump; and the president’s daughter Ivanka Trump. “Please reach out!”

The message came from Wells Wood Turning & Finishing, the company that supplies commemorative wooden eggs for the annual White House Easter Egg Roll, the 138-year-old celebration that has drawn 35,000 people to the South Lawn in recent years.

The staff of the company, based in Buckfield, Me., wondered whether the Trumps planned to continue distributing the wooden eggs as party favors, or whether they were even going to have a White House Easter Egg Roll at all.

By early March, the White House announced that the roll was on — Monday, to be exact — and soon followed up with a rush order for the wooden eggs.

By that time, the ovoid uncertainty had raised a question perhaps not as consequential as investigations into Russian interference in the presidential election, a legally dubious travel ban and a collapsed health care bill, but no less a window into the inner workings of the Trump administration: Could this White House, plagued by slow hiring and lacking an on-site first lady, manage to pull off the largest, most elaborate and most heavily scrutinized public event of the year?

“It’s the single most high-profile event that takes place at the White House each year, and the White House and the first lady are judged on how well they put it on,” said Melinda Bates, who organized eight years of Easter Egg Rolls as director of the White House Visitors Office under President Bill Clinton. “I’m really concerned for the Trump people, because they have failed to fill some really vital posts, and this thing is all hands on deck.”

White House party catastrophes have been the stuff of presidential nightmares in the past. During his first year in office, President Barack Obama drew harsh criticism for lax security procedures after a pair of aspiring reality-show celebrities successfully crashed a state dinnerhonoring the prime minister of India, with one of them managing to buttonhole Mr. Obama for a handshake.

The late start in planning by the Trump White House points to a smaller and less ambitious Egg Roll than in previous years. There may be half as many guests, a fraction of the number of volunteers to manage the invasion of the South Lawn, and military bands in place of A-list entertainers like Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande, Idina Menzel and Silentó who have performed for Egg Rolls past.