Russians know Americans are morons

Specifically, morons from Texas.

This is an image from a Texas Facebook secessionist account called Heart of Texas. At its peak, it has more followers than the Texas Democratic and Republican parties Facebook accounts combined.

According to the Washington Post:

Its organizers had a strangely one-dimensional idea of its subject. They seemed to think, for example, that Texans drank Dr. Pepper at all hours: while driving their giant trucks, while flying their Confederate battle flags, while griping about Yankees and liberals and vegetarians.

But Heart of Texas, sadly, was no joke. At one point the page’s organizers even managed to stir up its followers into staging an armed, anti-Islamic protest in Houston. As gradually became clear, this was part of a broader strategy. The sponsors of the page were keen to exacerbate America’s own internal divisions.

By the summer of 2016, other themes began to emerge. Posts began to follow a perceptibly hard-right course, stressing Texas’s status as a “Christian state,” or touting the Second Amendment as a “symbol of freedom … so we would forever be free from any tyranny.” Some of the page’s contributors talked about the need to “keep Texas Texan,” whatever that meant. There was also a generous dollop of conspiracy theory. There were posts about the allegedly unnatural death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia and the supposed federal invasion orders behind the Jade Helm military exercise. Fake Founding Father quotes mingled with anti-Muslim screeds and paeans to Sam Houston. And the number of followers steadily crept into the hundreds of thousands.

But the account wasn’t run by Texans.

Just like that, the most popular Texas secession page on Facebook was revealed to be a Russian front, operated by the notorious Internet Research Agency, with Facebook removing all of the posts from public view. …

We know that the Russians behind these sites played all of their readers, and especially those who showed up at its protests in places like Twin Falls and Fort Myers and Houston, for fools. Considering that the number of their combined followers ranged into the millions — with some estimates placing total views potentially in the billions — they’re probably right.

Let’s put this in perspective. There is someone in Russia tinkering around on a computer saying “Let’s see how fucking stupid Americans are.” And that person believes the best place to find fucking stupid Americans is in Texas.

And the American secretary of state, who is from Texas, has designated his boss, the karrot koiffed krapmeister, as “a fucking moron.”

We are so screwed.

 

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How did the mango-hued babyman sell us out this time?

Putin and his little pony

From The Hill:

President Trump held a second, informal talk with Russian President Vladimir Putin on the sidelines of the Group of 20 (G-20) summit in Hamburg, Germany, earlier this month, the White House confirmed Tuesday.

Press secretary Sean Spicer confirmed Trump and Putin spoke at the G-20 heads of state dinner, hours after their formal bilateral sit-down.

According to Tuesday reports, in their second conversation, Trump spoke with the Russian leader for roughly an hour, joined only by Putin’s translator. The meeting had previously gone without mention by the administration.

The White House confirmed that Trump and Putin spoke at a dinner for G20 leaders and their spouses. But a White House official appeared to dispute that the discussion lasted an hour, saying the two only spoke “briefly” near the end of the dinner. 

“There was no ‘second meeting’ between President Trump and President Putin, just a brief conversation at the end of a dinner,” the official said. “The insinuation that the White House has tried to ‘hide’ a second meeting is false, malicious and absurd.”

The White House said the two men used the Russian translator to converse because the American translator accompanying President Trump spoke Japanese. 

This is wrong on so many levels. Pussy grabber probably sold us out and agreed to something we’re going to regret later. How the fuck do you talk to Putin without your own translator sitting with you?

I really believe the interchange between Putin and his translator went like this:

Babyman: You know I beat Hillary bigly. It was the greatest electoral upset of all time. No one said I could do it. And I won the popular vote.

Putin’s translator to Putin (in Russian): Dickhead is jerking himself off again on how he won the election.

Putin to his translator (in Russian): Dipshit still hasn’t figured out that we rigged the whole thing. What a dope. What an ultramaroon.

Putin’s translator to Babyman: We congratulate you on your honorable victory.

Babyman: And don’t let anyone tell you I didn’t win the popular vote. All those illegal immigrants in California shouldn’t have counted. Bad people. Rapists. Murderers. I’m building a wall. It’s a great wall. The Great Wall of America. Chinese have nothing on us.

Putin’s translator to Putin (in Russian): You know he’s talking about the popular vote and immigrants, right? You heard him say California and wall and Chinese? How does he get his head that far up his ass?

Putin to his translator (in Russian): You remember those Jerry Lewis movies where the moron yells “Hey, lady!”? He reminds me of that guy. Hey, you want to stop by later and watch him and the whores on the pee tape? It’s a riot.

Putin’s translator to Babyman: Your accomplishments are monumental. You should be very proud of yourself.

It’s not normal

  1. It’s not normal for the presumptive nominee’s son to take a meeting with a Russian lawyer who claims she has dirt compiled by Russian governmental forces who want to see your guy win.

  2. It’s not normal for the President to sign off on a public cover-up of that meeting when confronted with the facts.

  3. It’s not normal for the President to hold a Cabinet meeting that consists of his staff gushing over him.

  4. It’s not normal for the President to undermine his West Wing staff by continually asking friends and visitors for their opinions on various replacement options.

  5. It’s not normal for the President to make a deal with his Russian counterpart for an “impenetrable Cyber Security unit,” let his Treasury Secretary out on a Sunday show to enthusiastically defend the idea, then pull the plug that night after ridicule from fellow Republicans.

  6. It’s not normal for the President to interrupt his day to watch the press briefing on TV, and critiquing the answers à la “SportsCenter.”

  7. It’s not normal for the President to obsess about cable-news coverage of himself, and instantly react to stories before checking the specifics.

  8. It’s not normal for the President to irritate and offend key allies by failing to re-articulate the country’s devotion to their alliance, only to offer the reassurance weeks later, after the damage is done.

  9. It’s not normal for the President to publicly criticize the mayor of London on the basis of flawed facts, right after a terror attack that killed seven.

  10. It’s not normal for the President to attack TV news hosts by name, including a personal attack on a woman’s intellect and appearance.

Via Axios.

How Natasha set up Babyman Jr.

Now, if I have this right, the Orange Babyman’s son had a meeting with Natasha Fatale to get dirt on Hillary. But Natasha and Boris, being spies, turned the tables on Babyman Jr. and have, as a result revealed that Babyman’s campaign was relying on Russian information to throw the election to the self confessed pussy grabber.

I believe it went something like this:

Any by now, you figured out Babyman’s son also goes by the name Bullwinkle and the goof gas had a negligible affect on him. (It didn’t bother him much, either.)

The orange babyman apparently has a son who’s an idiot

This is not how you cover up the fact that your dad’s campaign colluded with the Russians to throw the 2016 presidential election in his favor (via Esquire):

On the electric Twitter machine, for reasons known only to whatever pagan deity watches over this gang of grifters and fools, Junior had published the entire email chain, the contents of which, in any ordinary time, would have everybody involved being fitted for leg-irons, their room reservations at Leavenworth already booked. From The Guardian:

 

The emails show music promoter Rob Goldstone telling the future US president’s son that “the crown prosecutor of Russia” had offered “to provide the Trump campaign with some official documents and information that would incriminate Hillary and her dealings with Russia and would be very useful to your father”. Goldstone adds: “This is obviously very high level and sensitive information but is part of Russia and its government’s support for Mr Trump.” Trump Jr replies 17 minutes later and welcomes the offer. “If it’s what you say, I love it, especially later in the summer.”

 

I might have been cautious about commenting merely on this information, largely because this Goldstone character looks like the mugshot of every two-bit hoodlum capped by Whitey Bulger, but then Junior threw my caution to the wind.

The email chain makes clear that the Trump campaign colluded with the Russian government. Further, it also makes plain that not only Junior, but also Manafort and Kushner knew the campaign had done so because Junior was kind enough to forward the emails to them. He incriminated himself. He incriminated the other two. He made a lie out of practically everything that the Trump camp has said on the subject for over a year. He landed a clean shot below the waterline of his father’s administration. Again, I thought of Nixon, standing behind a podium in the White House, while the tape from June 23, 1972 unspooled to an eager world, and then telling the assembled press corps, “See? It’s just like I said. I’m not involved.”

This isn’t a smoking gun. It’s a smoking machine gun, and Junior is holding it to his nose, snorting the fumes, and acting like he just bagged a 2,000 pound elephant.

Except this elephant is his dad’s campaign, and he doesn’t seem to realize he’s fucked up bigly. Maybe this is the way he’s always been. He fucks up, and dad pays someone off to clean up the mess.

I though George W. Bush (the dumber) had the stupidest administration in history, and I thought Richard Nixon had the most corrupt. They don’t hold a candle to the mess we have running this country now.

Look at it this way: It took Bush and Nixon years to reach the pinnacle of their corruption and incompetence.

Babyman has been in office for less than six months.

Meanwhile, the pump truppets are watching Junior Babyman on Hannity and fill their skull cavities with more bullshit.