The athlete formerly known as Prince

We’re hearing all these stories about how Prince, the musician, was a great athlete. These stories are kind of old, and we didn’t believe them, but everyone swears they were true.

Like Prince and basketball:

 

Samuel L. Jackson says it’s true:

And Prince and ping pong:

Susan Sarandon says it’s true:

And I didn’t know Prince hung out with Michael Jackson and tormented him:

I would love to have been a fly on the wall for the Prince/Michael Jackson ping-pong match.

But there was respect. Prince wouldn’t have covered this song if he disrespected Michael.

Here’s why Kim Kardashian is famous

It’s actually an interesting explanation of fame in the Internet age:

I was watching the ESPN documentary on O.J. Simpson and surprisingly remembered that Kardashian was an important name during the murder trial. Robert Kardashian was O.J.’s friend and one of his defense attorneys.

That’s Kim’s father. And it’s not like this was a passing acquaintance:

So, in addition to O.J. getting away with murder, he brought us the Kardashians,

John Oliver on Brexit

And boy, is he pissed [not in the British definition of pissed (drunk) but in the American definition of pissed (pissed)]:

And he also had something to say about the tiny fingered, Cheetos-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon:

Now, I don’t want to kick a country when it’s down, but I have to lace up my football cleats for this:

It’s one of the greatest upsets in sporting history. On Monday, Iceland defeated England in the second round of the Euro 2016 soccer tournament, 2-1, to progress to a quarter-final match against host nation France.

So, why is this one of the greatest upsets in sporting history?

This is Iceland’s first appearance in any major tournament. Their country’s population (just a bit over 300,000 people) could fit into one midsized English city. Some estimates suggest that almost 10 percent of the nation was following the team around in France. Their players include a part-time filmmaker and itinerant farmers.

Iceland was going up against one of the most recognized teams in the world, whose players are all lavishly paid stars in the English Premier League. But an incredible, gusty performance by the Icelanders, some of whom are journeymen who ply their trade in England’s lower leagues, won the day.

It is so bad that a chart has been made to account for everyone in the country:

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What can you say? That’s everybody in Iceland!

I think it’s time to quote Shakespeare:

This royal throne of kings, this scepter’d isle,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall,
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England …

… Is totally fucked.

Free tickets you don’t know you have

I was on the Gizmodo site, and I saw this story:

Last month, Ticketmaster settled a $400 million class action lawsuit over its exorbitant fees. This month, they’re paying it out—in the form of discount codes and vouchers. Chances are, you have a free show or two sitting in your inbox.

The suit affects about 50 million people who bought tickets on Ticketmaster between October 21, 1999 and February 27, 2013 and paid the company’s ridiculous overcharges. Emails alerting members of the class started going out last month under the subject, “Schlesinger v. Ticketmaster Class Action Settlement – Notice Regarding Discount and Ticket Codes,” but, contrary to my deepest-held delusions, 1999 was actually a very long time ago and there’s a good chance it’s sitting in an AOL mailbox you haven’t looked at since the band Smash Mouth wrote that Shrek song.

So, since I have a Ticketmaster login, I checked it out, and sure enough, there are vouchers there.

So now I have to figure out what they go to, but it looks like a bunch of them are good until 2020.

I you have an account, you should take a look under “Active Vouchers.”