50 shades on orange via France

Jezebel explains:

Ok, did you see that? DID YOU SEE THAT? You saw it.

Emmanuel Macron walks STRAIGHT TOWARDS TRUMP. Trump is obviously expecting it—everyone is expecting it. However, at the last second, Macron swerves in the other direction and not just to anybody, but to Angela Merkel, a woman you know Trump can’t stand because she’s better at her job than he is.

Macron shakes Merkel’s hand then proceeds to shake the hand of everyone else in his vicinity. After making him wait as long as he possibly can, Macron finally turns to Trump and engages in one of his stupid “me big strong man” exhibitions he calls a handshake.

 

The Argument: My god. I almost don’t even want to say too much about it because some things are so beautiful they should be enjoyed and experienced in their purest state without any extra commentary or cutter. That, that was fucking incredible.
“I don’t have to tell you you’re the laughingstock of the entire world and nobody respects you because you know you’re the laughingstock of the entire world and everybody hates you, you got-left-hanging-in-front-of-everybody motherfucker.”

 

The Conclusion: Shade

Remember when the GOP said impeachment was the answer to all of our problems?

The Rude Pundit does:

In 2013, then-Senator Tom Coburn mused at a town hall meeting, “I don’t have the legal background to know if that rises to ‘high crimes and misdemeanors,’ but I think you’re getting perilously close.” Coburn, a Republican (obviously) brought up impeachment of President Obama as a possible response to unspecified things that Obama had done. Mostly, presidenting while black, but probably Coburn would have said, “Something, something, something, immigrants.”

Around the same time, Republican Representative Blake Farenthold, 100 pounds of shit in a fifty pound bag from Fuck If I Care, Texas, told his constituents, who totally believed that Obama was born in Africa, “If we were to impeach the president tomorrow, we would probably get the votes in the House of Representatives to do it.” Walking cold sore Ted Cruz bemoaned to a bunch of his drooling maniacs, “To successfully impeach a president you need the votes in the U.S. Senate.” Neither Farenthold nor Cruz, in course of making Texas even dumber, gave any grounds for impeachment, just a general sense of something not right (see above, “presidenting while black”).

In 2013 and 2014, the Tea Party plague rats kept demanding to know why that goddamn Muslim Kenyan who was making us all into healthy gay Communists wasn’t being impeached. And their members of Congress were more than willing to indulge their idiot fantasy for a few whoops at rallies and a bunch of votes.

At least pubic hair-topped Rep. Jason Chaffetz wanted to impeach Obama for a reason: the attack on the American consulate in Benghazi, Libya (which, as you know, was worse than 100 9/11s times a dozen Pearl Harbors). And skeevy shitworm Steve King was hyped to impeach over Obama not being a complete dick to undocumented immigrant kids.

There’s a fuckin’ Wikipedia page devoted to all the reasons why Republicans talked about impeaching Obama, eight years worth. And not a goddamned one of them rises to the level of a single thing Donald Trump has done in the last four months.

A couple of Republicans are hinting at being open to impeachment. But the best representation of the cowardice and cravenness that is the GOP right now is that the Republicans in the House just blocked a vote on establishing an independent commission to investigate Russia’s interference in the 2016 election.

It’s not just hypocrisy by many of the same Republicans who wanted to lynch Obama for every fake scandal they could conjure. Now, with Trump, they are likely aiding and abetting a pile of high crimes and a shit load of misdemeanors.

Fruity pleasures from the Orange Menace

This actually showed up in a White House press announcement:

I think a nice juicy cobbler would do wonders in getting Arabs and Israelis to work together. I mean, who doesn’t like lasting pie? I’m sure Georgia will supply the lasting peaches.

And just in case you think that was just an honest mistake, here’s Il Douché speaking in Israel:

Notice how the guy on the right goes for a face palm but quickly decides to make it a hair smoothover. But for the rest of us, when Dumbo says to the Israelis that he just got back from the Middle East, this is the inevitable reaction:

President Babyman leave a note at the holocaust memorial

When you have low hopes for Orange Julius, he manages to still perform under expectations.

The wrinkled pussygrabber visited the Holocaust Memorial in Israel and was so moved, he left this note:

Because the president of the United States should leave a message that reflects the depth of thought of a middle-school student who didn’t read the chapter on the Holocaust before the class trip.

Want to see the messages left by certain other Americans?

Here’s the note from the person who should be president:

And here’s the note from our last real president:

Every day Hookerpiss is president, I wish nothing but mounting pain and suffering for every pump truppet who made this nightmare possible.