On parallel Earth

I think the pee tape is a myth. But it would be great if it were true.


The normalization of the pussy grabber’s posse

A couple of weeks ago, “60 Minutes” gave a handjob to one of the most repulsive cretins that ever entered the White House. Charlie Rose managed to bring on Steve Bannon, the right wing promoter of the alt-right band of racists, and let him vomit his demented philosophy before millions of people.

Rose actually said to him:

Can I remind you, a good Catholic, that Cardinal [Timothy] Dolan is opposed to what’s happened with DACA? Cardinal Dolan.

Somewhere in heaven, the Holy Trinity shouted out: “JESUS, Charlie! WTF!!???

Maybe Rose just doesn’t know that Bannon’s actions merit him suites in Dante’s second through ninth circles of hell.

But that doesn’t piss me off as much as last night’s Emmys, when this happened:

JESUS, Stephen! WTF??!!!???

A blatant lying liar who since January has lied lying lies comes out and does a joke about what a lying liar he is and the audience APPLAUDS?!?!

JESUS, Emmy audience! WTF????????

The consistently condemned media elite are giving the condemners a free pass for all the misery they’ve caused? The only saying that makes any sense in this case is the one about capitalists selling their executors the rope to hang them with.

Jezebel puts this in perspective:

During Sunday night’s Emmys, Spicer made a cameo on an awards show that repeatedly patted itself on the back for its diversity. “Colbert thought it would be funny and surprising, and that’s what mattered most,” wrote CNN, citing a source familiar with the production, on the decision to include Spicer. It was indeed surprising that Stephen Colbert would let him roll in for the sake of a “joke” that riffed on the most innocuous of Spicer’s many infractions. It was surprising that so many smart people in the audience seemed to find his appearance hilarious, or at least reacted as they thought they were supposed to. That is, perhaps, with the exception of Melissa McCarthy, an actor who perhaps knows more intimately the vagaries of Spicer’s tenure as press secretary, and looked embarrassed on behalf of Hollywood.

Yet “Spicey” as a comedic foil and as gallows humor worked on SNL and elsewhere because spoofing him doesn’t require collusion. The Emmys, supposedly run by “liberal Hollywood,” hosted the man who announced to the world that Muslims would be banned, that the wall would be built, that Hitler “didn’t sink to using chemical weapons.” His appearance embodied the limitations of a television industry that is so performatively gung-ho about inclusion, at least until there’s a chance to make a cheap joke. (Before you bring up Jeb Bush at the Oscars—at least he was long-neutered by that point.) …

… One of Saturday Night Live’s best skits this year was a spoof commercial, in which Scarlett Johansson portrayed Ivanka Trump, and advertised a signature perfume called “Complicit.” Shot in soft lighting, a voiceover cooed, “She’s beautiful… she’s powerful… she’s Complicit.” It was the first line that came to mind watching Spicer cart himself out onto the Emmys stage, a cheap trick deploying an inexcusably predictable joke. If an industry meant to critique is so quick to redeem a peabrain “just doing his job” like Sean Spicer, how far will its standards recede? If their intent is solely to entertain, then we know the answer.

These are bad people. Stop normalizing them!


One of these things is not like the other

From the mind of the kooky klan kuddler:

“I think now, with what’s happened with the hurricane, I’m gonna ask for a speed up,” he said. “I wanted a speed up anyway, but now we need it even more so. So we need to simplify the tax code, reduce taxes very substantially on the middle class, and make our business tax more globally competitive. We’re the highest anywhere in the world right now.”

What does a hurricane have to do with tax revision? I don’t understand the logic. Give rich people tax cuts so you don’t have to pay for disaster cleanup? This makes no sense.

(Thanks, Mock, Paper, Scissors)


The fat stupid blowhard is gone with the wind

Like we didn’t expect this to happen:

Rush Limbaugh will be evacuating South Florida, just days after the popular conservative radio host claimed that Hurricane Irma would not hit the United States and that scientists and the liberal media were hyping up the hurricane as proof of their global warming “lie.”

“So there is a desire to advance this climate change agenda, and hurricanes are one of the fastest and best ways to do it. You can accomplish a lot just by creating fear and panic. You don’t need a hurricane to hit anywhere,” Limbaugh said on his show Tuesday. “All you need is to create the fear and panic accompanied by talk that climate change is causing hurricanes to become more frequent and bigger and more dangerous, and you create the panic, and it’s mission accomplished, agenda advanced.”

But on the show Thursday, Limbaugh said he would be off the air for the next few days.

“May as well… announce this. I’m not going to get into details because of the security nature of things, but it turns out that we will not be able to do the program here tomorrow,” Limbaugh said Thursday. “We’ll be on the air next week, folks, from parts unknown.”

Limbaugh said the show will be back on the air Monday, but to be on the air Friday would be “legally impossible” for them do to the show out of South Florida.

Limbaugh did not recant his earlier statements about Irma, and he did not encourage his listeners in the area to evacuate. In fact, Limbaugh seemed to even double down on his earlier views.

“The views expressed by the host of this program [are] documented to be almost always right 99.8 percent of the time,” Limbaugh said right before announcing he would be leaving South Florida for parts unknown. “There is a reason for that because we engage in a relentless and unstoppable pursuit of the truth and we find and proclaim it and that happens to drive people crazy.”

(From Mock, Paper, Scissors)

Hit GIrl?

In the meantime:

A fat stupid blowhard has a few words on a hurricane

You all know this is on the way, right?

• Hurricane Irma, one of the strongest storms ever recorded in the Atlantic, hit the eastern Caribbean on Wednesday with winds of up to 185 miles an hour.

• With two confirmed deaths in the French Caribbean, President Emmanuel Macron of France says there will be “victims to lament.” There was also at least one death in Anguilla, a British territory, and another in the island nation of Antigua and Barbuda.

• The Category 5 storm has begun lashing Puerto Rico and is threatening havoc and destruction in the Virgin Islands, the Dominican Republic and Haiti. Cuba is also at risk.

• President Trump declared a state of emergency in Florida, Puerto Rico and the United States Virgin Islands. The storm is expected to reach Florida on Sunday, potentially causing catastrophic flooding.

This is what it looks like from space (click to enlarge):

And here’s a view of it on the ground:

You’ll never guess what the commentators on the right are saying:

The reason that I am leery of forecasts this far out, folks, is because I see how the system works. Now, I don’t mean this to be a personal attack on anybody, but the one thing that’s undeniable throughout our culture is that everything has been politicized. And in that sense much of our public information system, including from the government, from the Drive-By Media, has been corrupted. It has been corrupted by the individual biases and whatever present bigotry of the people who hold these positions.

You can see it in the way the Deep State deals with Trump. You can see it with the way the intelligence community and the Washington establishment deal with Trump. So in the case of a hurricane, what happens? Well, there are many levels here. When a hurricane pops up — and we can’t forget Hurricane Harvey because Hurricane Harvey and the TV pictures that accompany that go a long way to helping further and create the panic.

Now, in the official meteorological circles, you have an abundance of people who believe that man-made climate change is real. And they believe that Algore is correct when he has written — and he couldn’t be more wrong — that climate change is creating more hurricanes and stronger hurricanes. And, of course, when Harvey hit, it was the first hurricane that had hit in 12 years. There haven’t been more hurricanes and no more dangerous than any others in previous years.

But it doesn’t matter because the bias is built in. So there is a desire to advance this climate change agenda, and hurricanes are one of the fastest and best ways to do it. You can accomplish a lot just by creating fear and panic. You don’t need a hurricane to hit anywhere. All you need is to create the fear and panic accompanied by talk that climate change is causing hurricanes to become more frequent and bigger and more dangerous, and you create the panic, and it’s mission accomplished, agenda advanced.

Now, how do you do this? Well, any number of ways. Let’s take south Florida television, for example. There is symbiotic relationship between retailers and local media, and it’s related to money. It revolves around money. You have major, major industries and businesses which prosper during times of crisis and panic, such as a hurricane, which could destroy or greatly damage people’s homes, and it could interrupt the flow of water and electricity. So what happens?

Well, the TV stations begin reporting this and the panic begins to increase. And then people end up going to various stores to stock up on water and whatever they might need for home repairs and batteries and all this that they’re advised to get, and a vicious circle is created. You have these various retail outlets who spend a lot of advertising dollars with the local media.

The local media, in turn, reports in such a way as to create the panic way far out, which sends people into these stores to fill up with water and to fill up with batteries, and it becomes a never-ending repeated cycle. And the two coexist. So the media benefits with the panic with increased eyeballs, and the retailers benefit from the panic with increased sales, and the TV companies benefit because they’re getting advertising dollars from the businesses that are seeing all this attention from customers.

The dipshit saying this is Rush Limbaugh. He’s calling Hurricane Irma “fake news.” His rabies infested mind has decided it’s all a plot by the “deep state,” television stations and stores to create panic and make money.

If he really believes this, he should get a big towel and sit on the beach to wave to Irma when she sidles up the shoreline.

But the cattle in the path of this monster storm who tune in every day to cheer Limbaugh on are going to stay put to defy “them liberals.” And they’re going to die.

Sometimes, you just gotta thin out the herd.

When fake news bites you in the ass

For the next time the fat, stupid, global warming denier Rush Limbaugh tell you the hurricanes about to hit America are fake news:

There are three hurricanes poised to strike North America.

In the Gulf of Mexico, just off the Mexican coast, Katia is building up.

Over Puerto Rico, Haiti and the Dominican Republic, Irma is destroying everything in its path.

And east of Irma, is Julio, itching to wreck anything that Irma misses.

Irma has done a number on the konfused klimate kritic’s property in the Caribbean. It’s on a path to smash into the Florida coast and sink its teeth into babyman’s Mar-a-Lago resort like a pit bull mauling a chihuahua.

Just because you deny something is real, doesn’t mean it isn’t real. And when you suffer the consequences of your stupidity, we’ll treat that as fake news.