Only the best people

Where do we begin?

WASHINGTON — Dr. Ronny L. Jackson, the White House physician nominated to lead the Veterans Affairs Department, provided such “a large supply” of Percocet, a prescription opioid, to a White House Military Office staff member that he threw his own medical staff “into a panic” when it could not account for the missing drugs, according to a summary of questionable deeds compiled by the Democratic staff of the Senate Veterans’ Affairs Committee.

A nurse on his staff said Dr. Jackson had written himself prescriptions, and when caught, he simply asked a physician assistant to provide him with the medication.

And at a Secret Service going away party, the doctor got intoxicated and “wrecked a government vehicle,” according to the summary.

The two-page document, distributed by committee Democrats, fleshes out three categories of accusations — prescription drug misuse, hostile work environment and drunkenness — that threaten to derail President Trump’s nominee. Committee staff members say the summary details the testimony of 23 current and former colleagues of Dr. Jackson, many of whom are still in the military.

I know this is what we’ve come to expect from the administration of Spanky McPornfucker, but really, does his personnel office have the faintest clue on how to vet nominees?

An obscure White House office responsible for recruiting and vetting thousands of political appointees has suffered from inexperience and a shortage of staff, hobbling the Trump administration’s efforts to place qualified people in key posts across government, documents and interviews show.

At the same time, two office leaders have spotty records themselves: a college dropout with arrests for drunken driving and bad checks and a Marine Corps reservist with arrests for assault, disorderly conduct, fleeing an officer and underage drinking.

The Presidential Personnel Office (PPO) is little known outside political circles. But it has far-reaching influence as a gateway for the appointed officials who carry out the president’s policies and run federal agencies.

Under President Trump, the office was launched with far fewer people than in prior administrations. It has served as a refuge for young campaign workers, a stopover for senior officials on their way to other posts and a source of jobs for friends and family, a Washington Post investigation found. One senior staffer has had four relatives receive appointments through the office.

Why the hell do I even ask?

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Have you been injured?

Not to mention his other specialty of Russian money laundering. (We don’t know that yet, but what do you think the odds are?)

When you have three clients, and two say they don’t pay you, how else do you survive in New York?

In Spanky they trust

They honestly don’t care what he does. And that’s the lesson from the 2016 election.

But at least we get the satisfaction of seeing Spanky’s spanker troll the hell out of him.

Sources close to Penthouse have informed The Daily Beast that [Stormy] Daniels “talks about everything” concerning her alleged 2011 affair with President Donald Trump during the interview—including several NSFW bits left out of her 60 Minutes chat.

Referring to her defamation case against Trump lawyer/fixer Michael Cohen, as well as the allegation that someone possibly connected to Trump/Cohen threatened her, Daniels says in the interview, “I don’t have shame. You can’t bully me.” She also reveals that, should she win her case, she plans to donate the $130,000 to Planned Parenthood in Cohen and Trump’s names.

“We are really excited to have Stormy back on the cover of the magazine,” said Kelly Holland, CEO and owner of Penthouse. “She was a Penthouse Pet back in 2007, so we have a history with Stormy, and she has a good relationship with us.”

An XKCD look at the 2016 election

Click on the map, because it’s huge. And here’s the thing that gets me.

See those green figures in Arizona, Florida, Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania? They’re the reason we have Spanky McPornfucker befouling the White House.

Thanks a lot guys.

Where did I get the name of the White House befouler from?

Porn Star Stormy Daniels confirmed Sunday that she broke Donald Trump down by spanking his bottom with a magazine featuring his face on the cover — and had sex with him only once.

I hope you green figures burn that image in your brains.