Cats rule. Dogs drool.

The dog should be ashamed of itself for depending on a cat to get out of a room.

What would have made this perfect is if the cat had closed the door after the dog got out.

 

Cute today … lunch tomorrow

Way back in the early 1970s, there was a Pepsi commercial that was generally seen as one of the cutest, most heart-warming television ads ever …

… and the first thing I thought back then was, “Wow, I don’t want to be that kid with those dogs in five years.”

The thing that brought that commercial back to mind was this cute, heart-warming story I saw today from Russian television …

… and all I can think is, “Wow, I don’t want to be that dog with those tigers in five years.”

Yeah, yeah … I know. How dare I think that animals would want to eat something that nurtured them when they were small. The dogs like the kid and would never gang up and bite him. The abandoned tiger cubs love their dog mother and would never consider her a nutritional substitute for wildebeest.

Then I saw this …

Yeah, yeah … I know. This story was amazingly overplayed. If you had just seen the headlines, you’d have thought the Sea World dolphin had ripped the girl’s arm off and dragged it down to the bottom of the pool. As you can tell from the video, the bite isn’t really that bad. That’s amazing restraint on the part of the dolphin. Remember the killer whale that drowned its trainer back in 2010? That happened at the same Sea World.

Look, the kid and the parents should have been paying attention to their surroundings … the dolphins sure were. I mean, what do dolphins want from humans other than fish? You read “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,” didn’t you?

So long, and thanks for all the fish!

Sea World tells you that when you’re feeding the dolphins, don’t wave a plate full of fish in front of them. There’s a reason they give that warning. Dolphins go for the fish because “THEY’RE HUNGRY!” I’m sure this has happened before, but news has been slow since the election, and when there aren’t any shark attacks, this is the next best thing.

So remember … dolphins bite, dogs maul and tigers rip to shreds.

Cute can get ugly really fast.

Who let the dogs out?

The presumptive GOP candidate for president, Mitt Romney, was hit during the campaign by his Republican opponents for driving on a cross-country trip with his dog in a cage on the roof. A once funny family story turned into a tale of sadistic treatment of animals.

Luggage?

Again, the Republicans and Romney brought this up first. Not the Democrats.

So now that the Mittster has the nomination in hand, how, dear voters, is the GOP going to get around Car-dog-gate?

So it was inevitable, really, that the conservatives would eventually jump on this passage of Obama’s memoir, “Dreams From My Father.”

“With Lolo, I learned how to eat small green chill peppers raw with dinner (plenty of rice), and, away from the dinner table, I was introduced to dog meat (tough), snake meat (tougher), and roasted grasshopper (crunchy). Like many Indonesians, Lolo followed a brand of Islam that could make room for the remnants of more ancient animist and Hindu faiths. He explained that a man took on the powers of whatever he ate: One day soon, he promised, he would bring home a piece of tiger meat for us to share.”

Look, everyone! They said. Obama eats dog!

Really? That’s their next line of attack? Obama’s stepfather in Indonesia fed him dog when he was 10 years old. A kid eating dog is the equivalent of an adult crating a crapping dog on the top of a car?

Lunch?

And our ever illustrious media falling over themselves with the “See, both sides do it” round of nonstop coverage. We really must be the dumbest people on the planet.

The Christian Science Monitor best sums up the issue.

Many of the people who are outraged about “Obama eats dog” are the same people who will pooh-pooh vegetarians as Leftist softies.

In the dog house

These next videos are pretty popular on the Web right now. And they’re proof that animals do think. (Why do people think otherwise?)

This dog feels shame.

And this dog knows when it’s time to get out of Dodge: