Did you know dribbling is allowed in football?

OK, this is going to sound bizarre.

I just got a digital antenna, which allows me to watch broadcast television.

(Yeah, I know it’s no big deal. But I haven’t had cable television since 2003, and I never got an antenna for television until this week. So all that stuff people were saying the past decade about the thing they saw the previous night on the tube. … I had no idea what they were talking about.)

Anyway, I’m cruising the channels, and I land on an ad in which former Baltimore Ravens lineman Tony Siragusa is selling adult diapers:

And I’m thinking, why is he doing this?

So I go online, and the Intertubes tell me that it’s for guys who leak as a result of prostate cancer surgery. But I’m wondering if the number of men with that problem is that high? High enough to justify an ad campaign that has to get into the millions of dollars.

Then I saw this:

neufootbawl

And suddenly, everything makes sense.

So the lesson I get out of it?

I should have never gotten a digital antenna. There are some things I was better off not knowing.

A concise explanation of GOP policy on women

Two things to consider concerning the Republican Party and women’s health issues.

This is what conservatives are doing today:

And this is what they want the future to be:

The above are “fantasy.” Here’s reality (from the Associated Press):

Abortion opponents have stopped handing out toy fetuses at the North Dakota State Fair.

State Fair General Manager Renee Korslein tells the Forum newspaper that fair officials were not aware that North Dakota Right to Life and other local chapters planned to hand out the toys during the fair parade on July 20 and later at fair booths.

Korslein says parade organizers may create an application for exhibitors to list what they’ll hand out for next year’s parade. She wouldn’t say whether North Dakota Right to Life would have been allowed to pass out the dolls this year if it had asked.

A federal judge earlier this week halted a law passed by the North Dakota Legislature that would have banned abortions as early as six weeks into pregnancy.

Does Louis Gohmert have brain damage?

Other than the fact that the entire statement by Rep. Louis Gohmert (R-Texas) made no sense, we must dwell on his final point.

What does “cast aspersions on my asparagus” mean? Does he taste good with a hollandaise sauce? And if he does, will that make his pee smell funny?

Perhaps it’s something more serious?

Aphasia is a disorder caused by damage to the parts of the brain that control language. It can make it hard for you to read, write, and say what you mean to say. It is most common in adults who have had a stroke. Brain tumors, infections, injuries, and dementia can also cause it. The type of problem you have and how bad it is depends on which part of your brain is damaged and how much damage there is.

There are four main types:

  • Expressive aphasia – you know what you want to say, but you have trouble saying or writing what you mean
  • Receptive aphasia – you hear the voice or see the print, but you can’t make sense of the words
  • Anomic aphasia – you have trouble using the correct word for objects, places, or events
  • Global aphasia – you can’t speak, understand speech, read, or write

Some people recover from aphasia without treatment. Most, however, need language therapy as soon as possible.

Republicans in Texas need to get Gohmert the help he needs. I see three of the four main types of aphasia in this video.

Actually, I think Obamacare would treat this, if Gohmert weren’t so busy voting against it.

 

Adelaide

This is totally demented, but really well done.

For all you premeds taking notes, the diagnosis for Adelaide is¬†Munchausen Syndrome. And the prognosis isn’t good.

People with Munchausen syndrome are rarely treated successfully. They are reluctant to seek treatment for the psychological problem and are generally unwilling to undergo psychiatric treatment.

The self-inflicted illnesses and injuries of people with Munchausen syndrome can cause serious consequences. These individuals often undergo several unnecessary surgeries throughout their lifetime.

(From Vimeo)

Do you really want to say (sing) that? Ring around the rosie

A simple childhood song:

Then someone tells me it’s about the black plague.

Huh?

So, it looks like this either goes back to 14th or 17th century England. When the bubonic plague (also known as the black plague) hit, one of the symptoms was a rosy red rash in the shape of a ring on the skin, hence, the “ring around the rosie.”

Since no one knew anything about science, back then, folks thought that because things were smelling really badly with everyone dying and all, the way to avoid catching the plague was to carry around pleasant smelling items. Like posies. So, if you had a pocket full of posies, things were cool.

About a quarter of the population of England died of the plague in the 14th century. When it hit in 1348-1350, the death toll was about 1.5 million out of a population of four million. The later plague, around 1665, it killed 100,000 people, or about 20% of the population in London. In Europe overall, the plague of the 14th century and subsequent plagues through the 18th century killed about up to 60% of the population. Burial really wasn’t an option. So bodies were burned.

Ashes, ashes. We all fall down.

One of the “cures” of the black plague was the 1666 Great Fire of London, which killed most of the rats carrying the disease, but also wiped out the homes of 70,000 of the city’s 80,000 inhabitants. Seems kind of severe. When I worked in London, I used to pass the monument to the Great Fire daily, since I had to walk from the London Bridge train station to the office near St. Paul’s Cathedral. The monument, pictured above, is at the north end of London Bridge.

The plague has spread around the word, killing about 10 million people in India during the 19th and 20th centuries, and making an appearance in the western U.S. in the early 20th century and as late as 1995.

I’m sure this would make a pleasant bedtime story for all the kindergarteners singing this.