I know Charles M. Schultz has been dead for more than a decade, but there are certain things in life that he illustrated perfectly.
This happened today, according to TPM:
House Republican freshmen admit that their so-called “MediScare” attacks on Democrats helped them win a big majority in 2010. Democrats had voted for the health care law, which included $500 billion in “cuts” to Medicare — primarily slashing overpayments to private insurers — and Republican challengers never let them forget it.
Now, they say, it’s time to let bygones be bygones.
Nearly a dozen House Republican freshmen held a press conference outside the Capitol Tuesday morning to “wipe the slate clean,” and “hit the reset button.”
“Yeah, I mean there’s been — again, this is a both-sides issue,” said Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL) when asked if GOP candidates and the NRCC had engaged in ‘MediScare’ tactics last year. “To say that one side is blameless in trying to use issues to win votes is just dishonest.”
On Tuesday, Kinzinger and 41 of his colleagues sent a letter to President Obama, asking him to rein in Democratic attacks on GOP members who voted for the House budget, which includes a plan to privatize Medicare and cap spending on the program.
So you know what my first thought was:
OK, Charlie Brown (Democrats). What are you going to do?
You know Lucy (Republicans) will promise that this time, you really will get to kick the ball. You know that they’re going to say the right words and give you that puppy-dog look that says, “What? You don’t believe me?” You know you’re going to figure that this time, finally, they’re going to live up to their word. And you’ll go back a few yards and get your running start. And after you’ve made your commitment, they’re going to screw you over and pull that football away.
What did Charles Schultz think about before he died in February 2000?
In a December 1999 interview, holding back tears, he recounted the moment when he signed the panel of his final strip, saying, “All of a sudden I thought, ‘You know, that poor, poor kid, he never even got to kick the football. What a dirty trick — he never had a chance to kick the football!’”
So, Democrats: They’re going to pull the ball away. You’re going to yell “AAUGH!,” go flying through the air and land on your ass, ending up flat on your back. And then they’re going to stand over you and mock you. They’re going to explain to you how much of a fool you are for believing them. This is the natural order of things.
So my advice … (please send your children out of the room, right now).
Let them put the ball down. Get a good running distance. Then move your legs as fast as you can, make sure you have every ounce of energy you have focused on your foot to put that ball through the uprights … and kick them in the head as hard as you can.
I mean, try to knock their heads off their shoulders. And when they’re down on the ground in a quivering, weeping, bloody heap, jump up and down on them as often as you can. Do this until they’re immobile. Do this until you’re exhausted. Then jump up and down on them some more. And when you’re done, pick the football up, and kick it.
You’ll feel a lot better. And not only will they not try to pull that stunt again (out of total terror), they will never cross you on anything again, because you will have destroyed them. All the rest of the Peanuts characters will look at you and say, “You should have done that a long time ago.” Peppermint Patty will say: “When Lucille did that to me, I got Marcie and we dragged her into a dark alley and beat the crap out of her.”
But, alas, we have seen our Charlie Brown Democrats let this happen before: Whitewater, Monica, Clinton’s impeachment, “Gore invented the Internet,” the 2000 election, Swiftboaters, the 2004 election, Max Cleland, the 2010 Mediscare campaign, death panels, birth certificates (was he born in America?), tax cuts for the rich.
I fear this is how it’s going to end.
But I’d much rather see it end like this:
That’s explanation enough.