Cruz (and no) control

Sen. Ted Cruz (O-Canada), king of the “let’s defund Obamacare and shutdown the government” movement, got his ass handed to him today.

By Republican senators (via Politico):

Ted Cruz faced a barrage of hostile questions Wednesday from angry GOP senators, who lashed the Texas tea party freshman for helping prompt a government shutdown crisis without a strategy to end it.

At a closed-door lunch meeting in the Senate’s Mansfield Room, Republican after Republican pressed Cruz to explain how he would propose to end the bitter budget impasse with Democrats, according to senators who attended the meeting. A defensive Cruz had no clear plan to force an end to the shutdown — or explain how he would defund Obamacare, as he has demanded all along, sources said.

The lesson here is when you follow a moron to the edge of cliff, chances are you’re going to fall off.

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Eric Cantor: With leaders like these, who needs an opposition?

Gee, is there another group the GOP can offend before the election rolls around?

I’d say that’s a big yes (From Think Progress).

A few weeks ago, the House GOP was up in arms over House Majority Leader Eric Cantor’s (R-VA) $25,000 donation to anti-incumbent candidate Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL), who ultimately defeated his opponent, incumbent Rep. Don Manzullo (R-IL). But the story got a little more fraught when it turned out that Manzullo once said Cantor would not be “saved” because he is Jewish.

Today, Cantor, the only Jewish House Republican, nearly affirmed that this was the reason he fought against Manzullo’s re-election, insinuating that anti-Semitism — and racism — are lingering problems among the House GOP generally. He speaking at a breakfast event organized by Politico.

Calling it the “darker side,” Cantor responded to Politico’s Mike Allen’s question of whether there is anti-semitism in Congress by trying to avoid commenting. But eventually he let up: “I think that all of us know that in this country, we’ve not always gotten it right in terms of racial matters, religious matters, whatever. We continue to strive to provide equal treatment to everybody.”

“We’re talking about the House Republican Caucus, not America,” Allen pushed.

Cantor then sat in silence, grimmacing for several seconds before Allen changed the topic.

(For those of you playing along, the answer he was supposed to give was: “Of course not. How can you even ask such a question? You are just another example of the liberal lamestream media dividing Americans at a time when we should be uniting to lift the boot of this socialist, Nazi, Kenyan, Muslim, dog-eating usurper from the neck of our nation.” Yes, I, too, can speak GOP.)

The Herman Cain plot thickens

It’s time to admit it. The Herman Cain sexual harassment situation is of course an evil liberal plot. The Rude Pundit explains how we did it:

See, back in the late 1990s, while Clinton was still in office, we knew that America was going to be begging to elect an executive from junk food restaurants to be president, probably once we triggered the Obama option that we’d been working on since 1961. Knowing that the most likely candidate would be Herman Cain, when he became the head of the National Restaurant Association, we went into action. We had oppo research that Cain liked to tell dirty jokes and talk and ask questions about the sexuality of the people around him. We got two of our female operatives to get into a position to be close to him at the workplace, and when he acted as expected, they brought accusations of inappropriate behavior against Cain.

The most insidious part of our liberal plot was that we couldn’t have it come out then or it would have ruined our chance to disgrace Cain over a decade later. So our operatives took the settlements they coerced Cain into offering in order to bury the story, only to create an online news journal named “Politico,” filling it with reporters who criticize Obama for cover, and then using it for the specific purpose of revealing the Cain story.

Our timing was impeccable: Wait until one of the most unelectable, insane figures to ever be in contention for a party nomination to be riding a crest of public interest even though there is not a chance in hell that he’d ever win in a general election and then hit him with allegations that don’t even involve actual sex. Yes, we were sure that the same people who believe in his idiotic economic plan, who think that killing people trying to cross the border is a good idea, who want a president who thinks that his ignorance of world leaders is an asset, who has shifted his opinion on abortion, who blames people who were fired from their jobs for being poor during the worst economy since the Great Depression, yes, yes, we were sure that what would turn people against Herman Cain is the idea that he flirted with a couple of anonymous women who worked for him. We really thought that his followers would say, “You know, I agree with Cain that Planned Parenthood exists in order to kill black babies, but his asking ‘personal questions of a sexually suggestive nature’ to his employees is just too crazy for me.”

Whew, I feel much better. Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, here’s a word from our candidate (And he’s coming out swinging like Mike Tyson in his prime):

Who are you going to believe? Me or your lying eyes (part 5)

Josh Marshall has a post up at Talking Points Memo on the postponement of the planned summit between President Obama and House Republicans.

Get this! The Republicans told Politico that one of the reasons Republicans canceled it was because they were upset Obama “crashed” their caucus meeting this past January.

You remember that, right? That’s the retreat the GOP invited Obama to. They wanted to ambush him with a bunch of questions and make him look bad, but he didn’t follow the script and kicked their asses.

Marshall notes these opening paragraphs of the Politico piece:

The roots of the partisan standoff that led to the postponement of the bipartisan White House summit scheduled for Thursday date back to January, when President Barack Obama crashed a GOP meeting in Baltimore to deliver a humiliating rebuke of House Republicans.

Obama’s last-minute decision to address the House GOP retreat – and the one-sided televised presidential lecture many Republicans decried as a political ambush – has left a lingering distrust of Obama invitations and a wariness about accommodating every scheduling request emanating from the West Wing, aides tell POLITICO.

“He has a ways to go to rebuild the trust,” said a top Republican Hill staffer. “The Baltimore thing was unbelievable. There were [House Republicans] who only knew Obama was coming when they saw Secret Service guys scouting out the place.”

Of course, this is a complete lie. As Marshall notes:

Honestly, I’m not even sure what to make of this. Not only does this version of events seem preposterous on its face, I didn’t even realize this was their storyline.

Let’s start with this whole idea that Obama somehow just showed up and blew up their retreat. Crashed, ambushed, etc. This was definitely not my recollection. I thought that the House Republicans invited Obama. And he accepted. Indeed, I remember for what I think were several days in advance our Eric Kleefeld telling me how excited he was to see a US equivalent of the Brits’ question time.

So was it an ambush? Well, My God, not even close. Here’s the press release from Mike Pence, Chairman of the House Republican Conference, thanking the president on January 13th for “accept[ing] our invitation to meet with the Republican Conference later this month.” And here’s the Politico’s write up from January 12th, the day before. In other words, that’s more than two weeks before these House Republicans who must have spent the month in a sensory deprivation chamber were stunned to see the president’s motorcade driving up unannounced to crash their party. And if they’d forgotten here’s the write-up from The Hill the day before the event …

Emboldened by an unexpected victory in Massachusetts and frustrated with a “partisan” State of the Union address, House Republicans are eager to meet with President Barack Obama on Friday.

So here they are all gunned up and eagerly awaiting President Obama’s ambush of them that they didn’t know anything about.

How can you deal with these guys when they just fabricate history. They issued press releases. Hell, soon-to-be Speaker of the House John Boehner was quoted as saying: “We’re eager for the president to come to our retreat tomorrow. We’re going to have an honest conversation about America’s priorities and trying to find ways to find some common ground.”

Republicans knew Obama was coming in January. They asked him to come. They wanted to use the opportunity to make him look bad, but instead, they were petty and unprepared and Obama proceeded to drive a truck through the holes in their half-baked arguments.

That’s the reason the GOP postponed the latest meeting.

And now they’re creating the alternate reality that he crashed their party. They really think their constituents are a bunch of idiots. Words don’t exist to describe their gall. I’ll use a made-up one: Hacktacular.

(And while I’m at it, this is a spectacular failure on the part of Politico, which let the GOP get away with another diversion into fantasy. Even they knew there was no truth to the “ambush” story line, because they wrote a preview story on the January meeting a week before it happened.)