GOP madness: Rep. Randy Neugebauer of Texas

The shutdown is the fault of the Republican Party. Republican Rep. Randy Neugebauer of Texas supports the legislation that led to the shutdown. Because of the shutdown that Rep. Randy Neugebauer (R-Dickwad) supports, federal monuments nationwide are closed to visitors.

That includes the World War II Memorial in Washington D.C.

So since it’s closed TO EVERYONE, what does Rep. Randy Neugebauer (R-Teabag) do?

Because of Rep. Randy Neugebauer, federal employees who have to work won’t get paid until the shutdown is over. That includes the park ranger Rep. Randy Neugebauer (GOP-Scumsucker) is yelling at for enforcing a shutdown that Rep. Randy Neugebauer and his party created.

Oh yeah, and when Rep. Randy Neugebauer voted for the shutdown, he made sure that people like Rep. Randy Neugebauer would keep getting their paychecks during the shutdown.

Did I mention this bottom feeder’s name is Rep. Randy Neugebauer? Something for Texans to remember when they vote for congressmen in 2014.

Cruz (and no) control

Sen. Ted Cruz (O-Canada), king of the “let’s defund Obamacare and shutdown the government” movement, got his ass handed to him today.

By Republican senators (via Politico):

Ted Cruz faced a barrage of hostile questions Wednesday from angry GOP senators, who lashed the Texas tea party freshman for helping prompt a government shutdown crisis without a strategy to end it.

At a closed-door lunch meeting in the Senate’s Mansfield Room, Republican after Republican pressed Cruz to explain how he would propose to end the bitter budget impasse with Democrats, according to senators who attended the meeting. A defensive Cruz had no clear plan to force an end to the shutdown — or explain how he would defund Obamacare, as he has demanded all along, sources said.

The lesson here is when you follow a moron to the edge of cliff, chances are you’re going to fall off.

Ted Cruz: I do not like him here or there. I do not like him anywhere!

Sen. Ted Cruz (O-Canada) took over the Senate floor for 21 hours yesterday in a protest against Obamacare. If I can figure this out, he was filibustering the Senate to halt a vote on a House bill he promoted.

Anyway, if you didn’t stay up all night to watch the waste of time, here’s the highlight:

OK. Let’s ignore the obvious. Ted Cruz harps on and on about how much he hates Obamacare, right? So he reads a story about a grouch who hates something he’s never tried. And when he tries it?

HE LOVES IT!!!!!!!

Isn’t it ironic? Don’t cha think? I’m just waiting for Alanis Morissette to pop into the picture.

But here’s what really pops my buttons.

If you’re going to read a children’s classic, START FROM THE BEGINNING!!!!!!!!!

Who doesn’t know in their sleep that the first words of “Green Eggs and Ham” are:

I am Sam.

But does the junior senator from Teabaggia begin there? No!! He begins with:

Sam I am.

What is his malfunction? No wonder his girls don’t want him to read it to them. He doesn’t do it right!!

It’s like starting “A Tale of Two Cities” at:

It was the age of wisdom. It was the age of foolishness.

Which, in this case, is exactly what it was.

Texas regulation: Organic farms or fertilizer plants?

Sometimes, you’ve gotta wonder about Texas:

A small organic farm in Arlington, Texas, was the target of a massive police action last week that included aerial surveillance, a SWAT raid and a 10-hour search.

Members of the local police raiding party had a search warrant for marijuana plants, which they failed to find at the Garden of Eden farm. But farm owners and residents who live on the property told a Dallas-Ft. Worth NBC station that the real reason for the law enforcement exercise appears to have been code enforcement. The police seized “17 blackberry bushes, 15 okra plants, 14 tomatillo plants … native grasses and sunflowers,” after holding residents inside at gunpoint for at least a half-hour, property owner Shellie Smith said in a statement. The raid lasted about 10 hours, she said.

Local authorities had cited the Garden of Eden in recent weeks for code violations, including “grass that was too tall, bushes growing too close to the street, a couch and piano in the yard, chopped wood that was not properly stacked, a piece of siding that was missing from the side of the house, and generally unclean premises,” Smith’s statement said. She said the police didn’t produce a warrant until two hours after the raid began, and officers shielded their name tags so they couldn’t be identified.

The state of Gov. Rick “Remember My Name Because I Don’t” Perry unloaded a swat team against an organic farm because its grass was too tall? Texas thinks this is worth regulating, but it won’t regulate this?

That’s the fertilizer plant that blew up in West Texas this past April. This is what Rick Perry said a few days after the explosion (from the Dallas Morning News):

Gov. Rick Perry said Monday that spending more state money on inspections would not have prevented the deadly explosion. He said that he remains comfortable with the state’s level of oversight and suggested that most Texas residents agree with him.

People “through their elected officials clearly send the message of their comfort with the amount of oversight,” he said.

Now obviously, the brain trust in Texas saw organic farm, thought “Hippies,” and came up with “They must be growing pot.” Except “17 blackberry bushes, 15 okra plants, 14 tomatillo plants … native grasses and sunflowers” are not pot. But even if there was weed amid the acreage, a burning field of marijuana, at worst, gives everyone a contact high. A burning fertilizer plant explodes and kills more than a dozen people and leave a bunch more injured.

So which one does Texas feel is the bigger threat to the population. Organic farms.


Oops: Get ready for the sequel


Gub’ner Rick “Oops!” Perry announced today that he won’t seek a fourth term as the Texas chief executive in 2014. He’s held the post longer than any other governor of the state. That kind of suggests he’s getting ready to run for president in 2016.

I mean, he did so well the last time:

Family values from a family judge

This is getting huge circulation this week.

How is it that a Texas judge who heads a family court and rules on child abuse cases can do this to his own kid?

The comments are scary: Lots of discipline advocates.

The incident took place years ago. The family is split up. The daughter was on the talk show circuit last week. Anyone who’s been in a situation where there’s a violent, out of control parent, knows there was a consistent sense of dread in this house.

When someone says in the course of a beating “Take it like a woman,” that’s pretty screwed up, because the thing an adult is supposed to do in that situation is fight back.

The video is the daughter’s revenge.